


CrowHunter

by deathandelirium



Series: Demons and Classic Rock [6]
Category: Sons of Anarchy, Sons of Anarchy RPF, Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: But funny, Crossover, F/M, I REGRET NOTHING, Jax Teller has a soul, Protective Dean Winchester, Self-Indulgent, cannon divergencies, i promisse, it's a mess, there is cameos, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25515772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathandelirium/pseuds/deathandelirium
Summary: (weird ideas happen in quarentine while watching my favoite series)There's something happening in Charming, when you were called to help, you met the infamous motorcycle club, and Jax Teller. Pretending to be a crow eater was the easiest way in, not that your friends would agree.a Supernatural x Sons of Anarchy crossover
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You, Everyone/You, Jax Teller/Reader, Jax Teller/You, Winchester Brothers & Reader
Series: Demons and Classic Rock [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859953
Comments: 27
Kudos: 29





	1. Welcome to Charming

**Author's Note:**

> This is an initial idea, maybe ill make into a bigger work, maybe some jealous Dean? idk
> 
> have some fun reading and please leave you opinions down below
> 
> for anyone who never saw SOA  
> crow eater = who'd sleep with the members of the motorcycle club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an initial idea, maybe ill make into a bigger work, maybe some jealous Dean? idk
> 
> have some fun reading and please leave you opinions down below
> 
> for anyone who never saw SOA  
> crow eater = who'd sleep with the members of the motorcycle club

“Thank you for visiting Charming, California.” You read the city sign, as your bike passed by it. _‘Really takes the name…’_ all you could think now was to meet who called you.

You saw a black classic car on the parking lot of a motel and stopped your motorcycle close. Some eyes were on you from across the street but you didn’t mind, now you needed to find them. Knocking on the door, soon you saw your favorite giant smile at you, pulling you in for a hug.

“Hey Sammy” the Winchesters were practically your brothers, being the daughter of a hunter, you used to meet them a lot on the road and you grew up together.

“I’m so happy to see you, (Y/N), how’s everything?” You haven’t seen Sam in a long time, that was the downside of hunting now.

“Nothing I can’t kill yet, brother.” you winked “Now where is that excuse of a man that is Dean Winchester?” Sam laughed at the way you referred to Dean, he knew it wasn’t that serious, more like your own way of flirting.

“Ahm… Dean went get some food” You agreed, leaving your bag on the couch and sitting beside it. “Is there anything else you need me to get?” Sam pointed at the bag, you nodded.

“Only bring what I can carry, Sammy Boy” he chuckled, going to the chair near you instead. You talked for something like half an hour before the door opened again.

“Honey, I’m home” the other man told, before seeing you on the couch, making you smirk. You missed that bastard.

“Hello, Dean” your voice was almost sultry, making Dean turn at you and smile, before crashing you in his arms and spin you around. Once he put you on the ground you started hitting him on the arm and chest “WHY YOU NEVER CALL…” now hitting Sam as well, who started laughing “I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOU FROM BOBBY SINGER I SHOULD JUST LET THESE BLACK EYED BITCHES FUCK YOU UP” Dean was laughing before you stopped.

“Sorry, babe, you know me… don’t get attached” he winked, putting a pack of beer on the small fridge.

“So what’s up here?” You looked at Sam now, who was working on his computer

“Demons, lots, there’s something here that’s making them gather...We might need some help” you agreed, accepting a beer from the older Winchester

“Apparently the city has some sort of Motorcycle Club and it’s mixed with pretty heavy stuff” Dean said, taking a sip of his beer.

“I think I saw some of them on the other side of the street, on the auto shop” they agreed “What are we talking, voodoo, soul-selling, witchcraft…?”

“No idea sweetheart” Dean said again “but I heard they got this bar at the club, we’re checking in tonight” you agreed, soon starting to make preparations.

As it got darker the Winchester’s decided it was time to go fish for new info. There was a line of motorcycles in front of the bar, as soon as the guys parked the Impala on the other side of the road, eyes were on the three of you, who looked back at each other, making sure knives and guns were ready if you need ‘em.

The place was dark, loud, smelling like liquor, blood, and sweat. Well, a bar. You decided to sit on a booth a little far from the mess, observing the men around you. Hours went by without any improvement, nothing out of the ordinary … a few bar fights and screams but nothing that screamed demon.

“That’s it I’m getting another drink” before the Winchesters could say anything you were by the bar, pretending to be more tipsy and bubbly than you actually were. “Hi… can I get another Whiskey, please?” the bartender smiled at you and put on a dose, you drink it down and asked for another one, calling her closer “Listen… I’m not from here, but I know there’s this Motorcycle Club in Charming… I was wondering if you know them…. Danna?” you read her name tag before smiling again, trying your best to sound just friendly and girly.

“Ugh, another crow-eater” she rolled her eyes, ignoring your slightly confused face

“Now Danna, this is no way to treat a tourist” a blonde man sitting on a stool turned at you, making you fix your posture. The bartender muttered a _“fuck off Jax”_ before going to the other side of the bar. “And you, what do you want with SAMCRO?” the man weighted you up and down, stopping more than a second on your leather-covered bum.

“Who?” you said again, playing dumb. _Please work._

“Sons of Anarchy Redwood Original, the motorcycle club you were just asking about” the guy smirked again and god, he was smooth. Or was it the whiskey? “I saw you on the motel across the auto shop this morning, nice ride. Classic Harley” he was now moving closer to you. You smirked, touching his arm lightly.

“What can I say… I’m a classic girl, Mr…?” He looked at your hand on his arm and back to your eyes, his were baby blue and inebriating.

“Name’s Jax, Jax Teller, dear.” you smiled

“(Y/N)” Dean shouted from the table, clearly watching you flirt with the guy.

“Old man, (Y/N)?” Jax brow furrowed, Dean’s expression was pissed, to say the least.

“My… no no” you laughed, _never_ “We grew up together, our parents were… business partners… they are more like my brothers” you showed your middle finger to Dean, making Sam laugh.

“And what brings you to Charming?” Jax's hand was now on your waist, slowly hanging near your butt, you smirked leaning closer to him”

“The beauties of the place…” Jax scoffed a laugh deep on his chest, before placing his hand on the back of your neck and kissing you, pulling your hair for better access to your mouth. He tasted like tobacco and whiskey, burning, his hands firmly holding your ass while you tugged his long blonde locks in between your hands. The noisy bar on the background a faded memory until you bit his lip, breaking the kiss.

“So you wanna see SAMCRO?” His mouth on your earlobe, you looked at him, his pupils almost hiding the baby blue. “Let’s get outta here” he pulled you by the hand and on the way out you could see Dean mouthing at you

“ _What are you doing?”_

“ _Investigating”_

__

__


	2. This is not a Nightmare, it's just a weird reunion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As your investigations in Charming proceed, you were found by demons  
> and by who you never thought you'd see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I don't even know anymore it's just fun.  
> also I'm self indulgent left ne have this

“I can’t believe it Dean… you still in love with her” Sam scoffed a laugh, taking a sip of his beer.   
“Bullshit” the older Winchester’s face red, a mixture of anger, alcohol and anger.   
“… how long has it been? Seven years? It was around the time I went out for college, Dean” Sam knew his brother, a little too well.   
“Give it or take” _Six years, Sam_. Dean finished his beer and asked another drink with his hand. “a lot happened after that, if you get what I mean…” Dean smirked ironically at his younger brother. Oh, the sweet times in between hunts you met… “I just don’t like that guy, bad aura… _fucking kurt cobain on a bike_ ” The last part was almost spitted, venomous.   
“Wait wait… _aura_? It has nothing to do with his hand on (Y/N)’s butt and they sucking off each other’s faces” Sam was now laughing and couldn’t even hide it anymore.  
“Shut up” 

  
___________________________________________ 

  
You had barely got inside the club when Jax’s hands found your body again, pining you against the wall.   
“What’s your deal, sweetheart?” You tried to focus on the answer while the man’s soft lips were on the shell of your ear.   
“Deal with what?” and now the answer was barely a facade, it was really hard to pay attention on anything else the man was good. His lips went for your collarbones now, holding your wrists high above your head, his thigh between your legs.   
“Tell me what you want with SAMCRO, who are you, what are these…” while with one of his hands held both of your wrists, the other went for the inside of your jacket, where he found two demon blades and a bunch of throwing silver knives. You knew it was supposed to be intimidating to you but the guy was just to smooth it was actually turning you on.   
“Oh, Jax… I was actually trying to have sex with you first…” you whined. “Cas…” your voice went a little higher and the blonde man in front of you passed out on the floor, the angel standing behind him “Thanks, Cassie…” you winked, before the angel zapping both of you.

  
“I thought you were investigating” Dean was… _bitter_? As you appeared in front of him and Sam on the motel room, Castiel carrying a knocked out Jax.   
“I was, there you go…” you pointed at the man “There’s a mugshot that says he’s the Vice President of the Motorcycle Club, might as well know something…”   
“And it occurred to you before or after you decided to sleep with him?” You laughed hard, loud, there was Dean Winchester  
“You called me here, and who I sleep with or don’t it’s not your damn business since… oh yeah… Lisa” you were pretty much screaming now, Sam and Castiel looking at the both of you, Castiel more confused and Sam frustrated.   
“Lisa has nothing to do with this” Deans voice lowered, his body tense close to yours, his eyes looking at the tears you were fighting to hold back.

  
“You’re right, you fucked this up, Winchester” an ironic smile before getting away from him again. Jax was opening his eyes, trying to break free from the restrains the angel had put on him. 

  
“Don’t bother, love, that’s real angel stuff, you’ll only wear yourself out” your hunter face already on again, sitting close to him, but outside the Devil’s Trap Sam had put on the floor.   
“Really, who did this? Nords, Niners? Mayans? Paying a whore to get me?” Jax spitted on the floor and Dean screamed at him, the angel holding him back.  
“What’s with the Demons?” you asked, ignoring the scene behind you and playing with a knife between your fingers.  
“The what?” _Was he… confused?_   
“Demons, golden locks, you know… black eyes, smells like someone had too many sauerkraut…” Dean now get down near you, looking the man in his eyes and throwing him some holy water.   
“What the _fuck_ are you talking about?” Jax looked at the four of you like you were insane.

“Jax, Jaxxie, darling… we had a bad start right?” you got up now, circling him, your Demon Blade in hands “I don’t know who your superior is, if it’s Crowley or Azazel or any one of those fuckers… but I need answers, and I will get them, one way or another” and he bled from a small cut you made in his arm. _Normal, regular, human red blood_. You look at the boys. “Human…”   
“Are you on crank or something?” he looked at you, who now sit back on your chair trying to think.  
“You’re human…” you concluded, almost like it was impossible, making the man even more confused.   
“You people are crazy or what? What is this?” Dean decided to talk as he started to fight the restrains again. 

“Listen to me… There’s demons here, real demons, from Hell, black eyes, possesses people...” Jax laugh, you were all insane “He’s an angel…” Dean pointed at Castiel “We hunt this things…” Jax had now a sarcastic look on his face.   
“And you expect me to believe that” as his words fell from his lips, Castiel’s hand found his head, showing him some flashes of hunts, angels, demons, monsters and all the fun. He looked… _shocked_. 

“Now, can you please listen to us? We’ll let you go…” Sam questioned, still careful.   
“Do you want some beer, love?” you asked Jax now, his eyes still fixed on nowhere. “Yeah, you'll get used to it”  
“What the FUCK?” he screamed after some seconds, getting the beer from your hands. “You drugged me?” Oh no not again.  
“No! Now calm down you sound like me when I killed my first Vampire… _and I was 12_ ” you took a sip of your beer, Dean laughed, he was actually with you that day. He was 14 and after it you got your first kiss. Dean’s, obviously. 

“Jax… is it Jax, right? Is there anything strange happening around lately? Money, any great deal, enemies just poof…. disappear?" Sam being Sam, trying to make the man feel less lost on what was your daily life. 

His explanation was cut by someone broken the door open. Black eyes and a smile.  
"Winchesters...." just behind the girl who you recognized as the bartender from before entering the room, more demons followed.

"What are you doing here?" tension boiled in the room, you were surrounded by demons.  
"Business, fun, vacation... what is it death for anyway" she smiled "I've been wanting to crave my nails in your guts for awhile now... all that shit about not touching you or golden boy...ugh" she signaled to Sam. "Heaven is at war... we might just enjoy it" just as she said those words, the demons attacked you. The four of you took turns to protect Jax from them, while you hand him one Blade. 

"A hand here, would you handsome?" you winked, out of breath, as Dean ganked one of the Demons around you.   
"You're welcome" Dean's words were destined to you, your eyes met his focused ones. You forgot how beautiful Dean was while fighting. 

Just as you were back on your feet the demons run, leaving the empty bodies behind. 

"What was that?" Jax look terrified, to say the least. And he was not the only one. Looking at the door, you felt your heart stop, the blonde man smiled softly at you. His left hand at a "snapping finger" pose. 

_"My ex-boyfriend"_ you whispered.


	3. Flannel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it time to deal with feelings yet?  
> Or maybe a pair of baby blue eyes will get to you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being away for so long!!! 
> 
> I was writingother stuff, than college came back, but im trying to get back on track here. 
> 
> Also Tw for sexual content and steamy smut

“Guys… I’m not the only one seeing this, right?” Sam breathed out as you approached the new member of your mess club

“Hello Luci” the blonde man leans down to kiss your forehead, making you smile a bit “thanks” you murmured in return

“Luci? Thanks??” Dean scoffed and you could feel the tension build up again.

“Shut up Dean” you rolled your eyes “he saved our lives” the blonde man was now leaning casually against the door, looking at his fingernails. “I … Listen, what do we do about him?” only now the others seemed to remember Jax was in the room. It was a funny scene: blood, guts, three hunters, an angel, a biker, and Satan himself in a cheap motel room. “No, Lucifer” you had your back turned at the archangel but knew what he wanted to do, Lucifer just lowered his hand and pouted.

“Guy’s never gonna pick up random chicks from the bar that’s for sure” Dean laughed, sitting on one bed. You just ignored it.

“Let’s go to my room” you pulled him up by the hand going to a near door. “I don’t even know what to say to you now…” you laughed, handing him a glass of booze.

“That’s your life?” Jax leaned against the table near you, you agreed sipping the alcohol. “The blonde dude?”

“Lucifer…” Jax was speechless, looking at you like it was a joke “Really, the fallen archangel… it’s really… it’s a really long story” you laughed taking your own drink on a single gulp “Listen, I’m sorry about it all, our job can get a little messy but I swear I never wanted to hurt you, personally, I’m sorry about all this.” your face made the biker laugh lightly, looking at his glass before looking up at you again, silence fell between you for some time, he was taking in your features and expressions cautiously.

“I know one thing or two about messy jobs, don’t worry” the smirk, damn the man was smooth, you could almost forget the mess outside this bedroom, you lock your gaze on his baby blue eyes, taking one step closer to him.

“No hard feelings?” you pouted lightly, letting the empty glass on the table. Jax smirked at you even more, taking the opportunity to let his hands find your waist.

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for a pretty face…” you laughed lightly, getting the clue, your hands found the back of his neck, playing with his hair. “And the fact that you just killed a couple of supernatural beings while dressed in leather… ugh” the man growled playfully, making you blush.

“So… before all this, where were we?” you leaned closer to him, feeling his smile closer and closer to your lips.

“I think… right about…” Jax bit his lip before kissing you again, his tongue gaining access across your lips and this time you didn’t have to think about getting information from him, or any plan. _He was your plan._

Jax turn you over to sit you on the small table behind him, your legs wrapping around his waist as you bucked your hips on him, his mouth leaving yours only to attack your neck, making you moan and pull him closer.

“OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE” you shouted when knocking on the door interrupted you two.

“(Y/N) I think you forgot something here” Dean’s voice was huskier than usual, making you growl in frustration, Jax laughed, never stopping the wet kisses on your skin “ it’s better to be me here than Lucifer you know that” _fuck he was right_ , you pushed Jax’s chest lightly, making him pout at you.

“I really should… he can get very angry, it’s better to deal with this now” Jax agreed, letting out a breath.

“I also should… get back to the club and clean the blood and guts” you smiley, giving him a quick kiss before letting the keys to your bike on his hand, he looked surprised

“Treat her like a lady…” you two went to the door, a fuming Dean Winchester waiting close “and maybe I’ll be nice to you later” you winked at him one last time and before you knew the blonde man scoop you off your feet one last time, kissing you roughly. Jax was already out of the parking lot when you finally turned to Dean, who was ironically looking at you.

“Okay, where is Lucifer?” Dean gave you the shoulders, making you focus your eyes on him more “You said…”

“I know what I said” Dean irritated gruff made you stop, It was a mix between pain, anger and shame “He’s gone… he just said he would see us soon” So, this was a plan to get you away from Jax?

“What are you doing Dean?” you crossed your arms on your chest, now facing him directly.

“What are you doing? ” you arched your eyebrow at him “Telling a random guy that can possibly be evil about everything”

“I was investigating! Questioning him!” _you just couldn’t believe Dean, jealousy now?_

“Oh I know how the questioning went…” Dean’s sarcasm was too much for you, you walked back to the room and got your phone and the room key “What are you doing?”

“I can’t do this right now Dean, having you acting like a jealous boyfriend again… it’s always like this for years and years, we meet, we fight, we fuck each other, we fuck other people, we leave and we never talk about it again… it hurts Dean, we got too much buried on the past…”

“We can’t change the past, babygirl” Dean voice was lower now, almost hurt

“And you refuse to deal with it like an adult” Dean run his hands on his hair before letting out a frustrated growl before finally walking closer to you.

“We can’t discuss this right now” you finally looked him on the eyes again, serious and trying to fight angry tears back.

“Then let me live my life, Winchester” you heard Dean punching the wall as you walked away from him.

You walked a few minutes on complete silence before realizing you had no idea how to get to the clubhouse from where you were.

"Need a ride?" Jax voice startled you, making you jump

"I thought you were at home already" you smiled walking closer to him

"Just wanted to make sure you would be okay, doll... I was at the auto when you stormed off" you got on the bike without saying anything, holding to the man in front of you

"Just take me out of here Jax" the man smiled at you, starting the motorcycle again.

“You want something?” Jax asked as you entered his room on the second floor of the club, there was a small fridge there and a trail with some hard liquor, you bit your lip looking at the blonde man removing his leather vest and putting it up on a chair.

“You…” he smirked at you, almost blushing… _cute_

“That can be arranged” Jax pulled you closer to him sitting on the edge of the bed, you straddled him, smiling as he held you firmly by the small of your back.

“Good” your lips found the shell of his ear as you kissed a trail on his jaw and neck “Then fuck me senseless, Jax Teller” you bite down on his skin feeling his grip on you go lower and his hands coach your movements on his lap as he growls, your nails on his back.

Some distance grew between you only enough for clothes to be removed, his tattoos adorned his skin perfectly, some scars and rough muscles, _you always loved a bad boy_.

"Fuck you senseless?" Jax smirked, looking down at your body on his lap. You agreed feeling his grip on you get stronger and he throwing your body on the bed, getting over you - his damn smirk never leaving his lips. Before you could realize you heard the fabric of your skirt being torn instead of open, you tried to complain but Jax cover your lips with his fingers.

"Be a good girl now," the fire burning in his eyes made your heart skip a beat. Jax pushed his fingers inside your mouth and you gladly swirl your tongue across them, sucking and moaning as his other hand found its path between your legs, removing your underwear. "You need someone to take control for you, don't cha? All the fighting and killing, I bet you need someone to dominate you for a change..." the sweet talking mixed with the warm of his body over yours and the dom facade was putting you almost on edge already "stay put..." you agreed bitting your lip as he got up to remove his pants and underwear, getting a condom next. _Fuck, he was delicious._

You tried to pull him to you again, making Jax laugh darkly before leaning over you again

"What did I tell you?" his voice on your ear, his hand holding your wrists above your head, the other exploring your body and stopping eager at your hip, this would surely bruise.

"Maybe you should punish me, then?" your voice was low, pushing your luck with him. Jax was right, _you needed this._ One of your legs was up on his waist now, trying to end any distance between you two. Jax's hand went from your hip to your ass, squeezing it tightly and noticing how it affected you, his next move was a sharp slap, open handed on your behind. The pain sting mixed with the feeling of Jax's warm tongue on your neck made you hold a cry of pleasure and look for his lips on yours, desperately.

"Look at you, a beautiful mess...so needy" Jax had hit you playfully a couple more times before letting his fingers explore between your thighs and hum in approval in your ear, while slowly pumping two fingers inside you.

"Just fuck me, Jax" his rough fingers easily making you see stars and your breath shallows and your hands finally free to explore his body. The blonde man smiled, fixing himself between your legs as you craved your nails on his biceps, trying to get him to you.   
When he entered you completely you let out a louder cry of delicious pain, starting to move even before your body adjusted to his, out of your mind with the sensations. The once kisses were now sloppy teeth and tongue and moans from both of you, he was rough, the rough you needed him to be. A smile settle on your lips again when his hand found your throat, fucking you harder.

"You like being owned don't you? Act like you dont take shit but you love taking my cock, you love being my little fuck doll" Jax's dark voice was more than you could expect, combined with hard thrusts and his hand squeezing your neck all went white and you came without a warning, you couldn't form a coherent sentence anyways, all you did was moan his name and ask him not to stop "I think someone did not understand how this works yet" he pulled your hair firmly, sinking his teeth on your neck before speaking close to your ear "Did I tell you could come?" As he said this words, Jax flipped you over putting you on all fours before taking you again, even harder as your moans became louder "Is it good, darling?" his voice was soft now, kissing the back of your neck as he slowed down for a moment, you agreed with a nod, turning your head to kiss him.

"Don't stop now or I swear I'll fucking kill you" you breath out and the man chuckled, picking up his pace again. The knot in your loins already forming again when he pulled you against his back, one of the hands holding you while the other found your pirced nipples, pulling slightly and making you moan a " _fuck_ " as he changed his angle. "Jax..."

"Yeah darling" he knew, he fucking knew. You were this close of losing control again and you could feel the man's smirk on you his fingers found your clit, while thrusting slowly but firmly over the same spot.

"Fuck Jax..." you cried again, feeling your body numb as he held you.

Jax kept his movements for a couple of more thrusts before pinning you down again and you didn't thought this would possibly happen but you came a third time along with him. His body over yours, rough, his sweet voice in your ear, his bites in your neck, before you knew you were crying in pleasure as the man collapsed over you.

"Fuck that was good" Jax laughed as he rolled over, laying by your side, you just smiled, lazily playing with his hair, the man kissed you tenderly "Wanna take a shower?"  
"I dont know if my legs will carry me" you laughed and the man seemed proud of himself before getting up.   
"No problem darling" as he said it, Jax pulled you to his arms, carrying you over his shoulder as he slapped your ass playfully. _This was nice._

"You have a lot of scars for a mechanical" you commented tracing your fingers over his chest. You had spent the rest of the time after the not-so-innocent shower on his bed, wearing only one of his flannels, Jax in boxers.

"I told you I know one thing or two about messy jobs, beautiful" his eyes found yours now, making you smile, he did made you feel beautiful "you too have a lot of scars...." _and mostly not human made!_

"This one?" you got up and straddle him, looking down at a scar just across his stomach

"Gang fight, broken bottle" he pointed at one scar in you, near your liver "this?"

"Wendigo, his claws..." Jax made a funny confused face "this?" you pointed as his shoulder leaning to kiss it lightly

"9mm, not as cool as a monster" he smiled caressing a scar on your neck, near your jaw "and this? vampires?" you looked deep into the baby blue of his eyes for a moment before whispering

"The deadly chickenpox" Jax kissed you with a smile in his face before you sit up again, your fingers tracing other scars on him.

"And the tat?" He pointed at your ribs

"Anti-Possession, really comes in handy on the job" he agreed, his hands caressing your thighs on his sides "who's Abel?" Jax fell silently for a second, before looking up at you again

"My son" your soft smile made him feel better "he lives with my momma, his mom died just after he was born"

"I'm sorry Jax, I..." you didn't know what to say to fix this but the man calmed you pulling you down to his chest and kissing you again

"Don't worry about it, we were not together and she had a problem with drugs... kid was born really sick, he's better now but no thanks to her" you stood in silence, family was never your strong suit.

"Well he has an amazing father, that I know" you finally speak up, making the biker chuckle and hold you tighter.

"You're a nice girl, (Y/N)" his lips found your forehead and you two lay there for a moment until your phone start ringing. You cursed under your breath and got up.

"I should probably go, it's morning and we do have a job here" you said after checking Sam's message about finding more demons.

"Fuck I gotta go to work" Jax whined making you laugh as he got up and you both started to get dressed, you keeping his shirt since it was long enough to be a mini dress on you and your skirt was ruined. 

Dean was on the parking lot, leaning against the Impala when you pulled over on your bike, Jax riding it.

"Call me if you need anything, I'll keep an eye on the shop like you said" Jax whispered to you, looking directly at Dean over your shoulder, who had killer eyes to both of you.

"Sure, see you later?" he pulled you by the waist leaning against the motorcycle and kissing you one last time, a kiss to make you feel dizzy.

"I'll come by tonight after I'll go check the kid" and winked at you before walking away leaving you breathless. 

"What are you wearing?" was Dean first question to you, he also looked like he didn't sleep, but for completely different reasons.

You breath deeply, thanking all the gods Sam came out of the room and called you, not letting a grumpy Dean ruin your happiness. _Not today_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO
> 
> WHO WOULD YOU PICK
> 
> JAX TELLER?  
> DEAN ?
> 
> BOTH?
> 
> I AM CONFLICTED


	4. Happy Bday, Jax Teller.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM NOT APOLOGIZING FOR MY SELF INDULGENCE

You heard Sam talking about some heavy deals that could possibly be happening around Charming, apparently he had found indications on crossroads not far from there, but your eyes were almost closing as you dozed off

“Are you alright?” Sam chuckled when you tried to rub off the sleep from your eyes, shaking your head next “ Busy night? _Investigating_ , I’m sure...” You somewhat agreed, blushing as the guy you called your baby brother teased you “ Go get some sleep, (Y/N), we can talk about this later” the younger Winchester riffled your hair, lovingly. You didn’t argue.

“Just gimme some hours…” Sam agreed, laughing at your face as you walked to your room again, Dean was still outside, drinking a bottle of beer leaning at the Impala “It’s not even 10 AM Dean…” the man just shrugged, giving it another sip and not looking at you. _Typical_.

You let yourself fall eyes closed on the bed, the shirt you wore still smelled like Jax and you would never admit it but it made you smile. A weight on the bed made you open one eye, scrunching your nose a bit.

“Hi Luci” you sit back up again, leaning against your favorite angel. Yes, you know that sounded weird.

“Hello pet” he kissed the top of your head making you smile softly “having fun?” his question made you chuckle, of course he knew. Lucifer was more than a flame on your soul, there was part of his grace in you, he was your little own wicked guardian angel.

“Ugh, seriously, what’s going on here? Demons? Is It something with you? I don’t wanna deal with Dean…” you whined laying on the bed again, the fallen one laid by your side laughing.

“I swear these demons are not mine… maybe from the Scottish…” Lucifer noticed you were deep in thought now “ Stop complaining you like the little lion man there…” who? And now you saw Lucifer start singing “ _Tremble little lion man // You'll never settle any of your scores // Your grace is wasted in your face // Your boldness stands alone among the wreck_  
_Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck_ …. Except it looks like it’s not his own neck he’s been biting…” Lucifer pointed at some bruises showing up just around the collar of your shirt.

 _“I really fucked it up this time // Didn't I, my dear_?” You playfully sang with him, making Lucifer show you his forked tongue “Luci, you know I can’t let myself… Dean was a mess on my past, and still a pain… I don’t want all over again” he agreed, getting more serious this time.

“You know the problem is not you, my love, those two are a less than a sandwich short from a picnic in hell” you just hugged Lucifer, feeling his cold body near yours. “I’m always up for fun you know…” and the look he gave you made you burst into laughter again

“I don’t think Jax would be up for a Devil’s three-way with the actual Devil, or any guy actually” the last part was said lower, trying to hold your breath from laugher, Lucifer pouted “Oh Luci, we’ll always have New Orleans…”

“That guy was fun! I liked him… What was his name again, the British, kinda dressed like my brother?”  
  
“John…John Constantine. You should go see him sometime, you know. Get something…” you poked at the archangel’s ribs playfully. “Oh c’mon you know John liked you better than me, he wouldn’t complain…” Lucifer just turned his face from you, laughing. It would be a cute relationship dynamic if well, it wasn’t your life… Lucifer was most than your guardian angel or former lover, he was your best friend. And yes, there were some days when both of you just fell into that flame of love again, but mostly when you were bored or stressed and alone. Or Lucifer just needed some fun.

  
  


Lucifer finally let you sleep a couple of hours, you have just left the shower when you heard Sam and Dear argue on the other room, you threw any clothes you could find over your body and run towards the boys.

“Fuck off Sam” Dean stormed out and Sam looked at you, the puppy eyes Samuel, not fair. You went after Dean.

“De, wait…” the hunter stopped, still back turned at you “Stop this Dean, you’re acting like a child… we have a job here” he finally turned at you, again seeing you had Jax’s flannel over.

“Yeah a job you apparently loved so much…” Dean was sarcastic, loud, you threw him again inside the room, Sam just looked at le ft you two alone, signaling you he’ d be outside.

“Stop Dean, you were never like this… what’s wrong?” you sit on the bed looking at the man standing in front of you , the hunter looked at his feet before looking at you

“Your face is wrong” he mumbled, making you roll your eyes

“Very mature, Winchester” Dean growled and sit by your side, looking into your eyes “Tell me what’s wrong, asshole”

“You…I can’t stand this anymore (Y/N), pretending we are okay, pretending there is not a whole life behind us that we just ignore now. Pretending that I don’t love you and don’t wake up everyday thinking about your 18 birthday on Bob’s place… Pretending that I did not fucked this up, that I wouldn’t do anything, kill anything to fix things up and just be me and you again, baby” You didn’t expect that…. Not that much, not now.

“There is no fixing Dean, it’s dead and gone, buried. Forget about this.” You looked down at Dean’s tattoo on his wrist, the one he got with you on your 18 birthday…. “You should have that tattoo covered…”

“ Like yours?” his response was like a knife to you, making you get up again and get a few steps away from him

“Mine was different, you know that, you know what happened” You tattoo was erased by Lucifer when you met when he saved your life from the mess Dean left

“ You talk so much about letting the past on the past but Lucifer is here…”

“Don’t blame him! I am my own person, Dean, if Lucifer did anything was saving us – again” You crossed your arms on your chest, Dean got up getting closer to you, for a moment there you let yourself be lost inside his green eyes. The pain he hid so well for so many years was clear to you and all you managed to do was pull him into your arms on a hug, his face on the crook of your neck. Silence.  
  
“I love you (Y/N)” Dean murmured against your skin almost inaudible. Your heart froze in your chest and you pushed the man away. _Are those tears_? You just left the room, without a single word.

  
  


  
  


“Are you guys okay?” Sam asked as you got out, rising his head from a book. You agreed.

“Your brother is just a hard pill to swallow sometimes…” Sam scoffed a laugh, making you raise an eyebrow

“I know what he wants you to swallow…” your disbelief eyes made Sam burst into laughter, almost falling off the bench he was sitting on.

“Gross Sammy, who raised you? Dean Winchester?” the taller man just cleaned his face off a few tears from laughter as you hit him in the arm. O n the other side of the parking lot and the street, you could see Jax looking at your direction and you waved next, making him talk to an older man again for a second

“You liked him uh?” Sam’s voice was on a more serious tone now, making you look back at him.

“He’s nice…” Sam agreed with a head not and you saw Jax running towards your direction.

  
  


"Hey" that damn smirk of him, the end of you. You walked closer to him, a couple of steps away from Sam.

"Hey...I was thinking" your impressive face made Jax let out a laughing scoff before continuing "There is gonna be this party kinda thing in the club, every member is gonna be there, also some people from other places that are close to us... if there is really something going on probably whoever you looking for is gonna be there...." you agreed watching the man light a cigarette, looking at the group of people he was talking before "If you wanna come by the house later tonight... they don’t usually let outsiders in but i can squeeze you…" Jax said the last part playfully pulling you to him, making you blush. _Yeah I’m sure you can squeeze me right, Teller._

“Sure… what’s the occasion?” you actually was enjoying this thing with Jax, it was fun, playful, sexy, just… easy compared to everything else you’ve been through.

“Nah… it was my bday some days ago, the guys wanted to have a party?” What? Your smile made him blush, looking away “It’s nothing”

“Of course it’s not nothing!!!!” You hugged him tight “Happy Birthday Jackie Boy” as you let go, the blonde man kissed you, in a caring loving way, a smile forming in your heart and lips “We are so having fun later!” you winked as your lips parted, making the man laugh again.

“Need a ride later?” he finally asked when one of the older men called him from the auto shop, you denied “Okay, call me if you need anything alright darling?” A wink and there he went, running off again.

"What was that about?" Sam came closer to you again after Jax left, making you turn at him and explain everything about the party and your idea to check for demons there. 

"You are not going there alone" Dean interrupted, making both of you look at him "if it could be Demons there you are not going alone"   
"Dean I am perfectly able to take care..."   
"it's not a question (Y/N)" Dean was final, starting to clean some weapons next, focused.

  
The night fell and you were waiting for the boys when the sudden shift on the atmosphere and looked at the two men who just appeared near the door.

"Well, I didn't exactly expected you to bring him here" Lucifer smiled at your shocked face to his companion.

"Oh luv, just admit you missed me that much, old Luci here had to ask me to come rescue you out of this raging depression my absence brings to your life" you hugged the British man before hitting Lucifer for bringing him.

"Sure Johnny, and my raging depression is a 6 ft tall blue eyed blonde tattooed biker named Jax Teller, couldn't leave the bed.... oh such a hard, hard, HARD night, if you know what I mean" you winked at them while Constantine let out a " _ouch_ ".

"She really does have a thing for blondes, you see" Lucifer played along as a knock on the door cut it and Sam called you from outside.

"Oh what is this a convention of your asshole exes?" Dean saw John and Lucifer inside the room, you looked at him then at them and at him again.

"Geez, De, i don't know l only see one...." your eyes fixed of his for a moment before you saw Castiel near him "your boyfriend is waiting" 

"So ...party?" Johnny had his arm around your neck with one hand and at Lucifer's waist with the other

"No...no, guys. Jax said I could go..." as you spoke the other 5 men got into the car "C'mon .... HALF OF YOU CAN ZAP YOURSELVES THERE" Dean started the car and you just decided to go with your motorcycle and guide the way. 

_____________________________

"Happy Birthday" you hugged Jax outside the club house. The boys still around the car.

"Thanks..." you handed him a badly wrapped gift "Hunting Knife?"

"It's a Demon Knife, it can kill demons, monsters, hellhounds... I thought it might be useful..." Jax pulled you in for a kiss, making you swoon.

"Thanks darling... now let's meet the other guys" the man tried to pull you by the hand but you stopped

"About that..." you pointed the car behind you "could you??" Jax furrowed his brows at you "i'll make up to you i promisse" you lean against his chest, kissing his neck.

"Ok but only because i do like to piss that guy off" he made a head movement signaling Dean "who is the other one?" Jax asked as the group approached you.

"Jax, meet John Constantine, Exorcist, Demonologist and Master of the Dark Arts.... _also an amazing punk rock singer_ " you winked at the british as he shook Jax's hand.

"... and a nasty piece of work, luv" he winked back at both of you playfully.

"Lucifer brought him" you explained to a very confused Jax Teller "They are hell boyfriends..." you sang making John frown at you. "What? You are..." Lucifer just smiled "it's like Dean and Castial, angelic boyfriends" you concluded making Lucifer burst into laughter and Dean complain.

 _"It's gonna be a hell of a birthday_!" Jax looked at you again, pulling you closer and kissing you again before guiding the unusual crew to the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ok guys
> 
> so three hunters, an angel, an exorcist, Satan and a biker enter on a bar...


	5. A biker, three hunters, a magician an angel and the Devil get into a bar (also demons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a party, a fight an unknown enemy.

“Hey guys, this is (Y/N)… she’s sticking around” Jax introduced to who you assumed to be the rest of the big shots at the gang, a group of bikers who gave you head nods and _“hello darling”_ all around to your smile.

“New crow-eater around? Where you from sweetie?” one of the men asked as Jax put his arm around your neck, pulling you to his chest as he noticed some of the others checking on you.

“Not exactly…more like a crow-hunter?” Jax made a funny face and you muffled a laugh on the man’s chest, before turning to the others.

“I was raised in South Dakota, sir” the man with the oxygen tube smiled

“Oh so you did hunt, like pheasants and deer? It’s good to have a girl that can actually shoot something, Jackson! Good ol’ lady material” _sure, deer..._

“Sort of…” Jax noticed they were too much on your neck there, getting the two of some beers and pulling you by the hand away from the older man.

“I didn’t know there was an interrogation, Teller” your hands found the back of his neck when the two of you lean against the bar.

“Don’t mind them…” his smile at you was adorable. It made you smile more than you would like to admit. _Okay…_ You fell into Jax’s kiss again, but it didn’t take long.

“Now that’s a party!” Constantine stopped by your side on the counter “Oi! Mate, can I get some whiskey?” the young man behind the bar looked at Jax before pouring the drink “Will there be boxing matches?” Johnny pointed at the boxing area and some of the other men near it, discussing bets.

“John, we are here for a job” you corrected him, you knew too well how this could go

“No, you are here for a job… ‘im just here, nothing bad with a little fun in it, tell her handsome…” Constantine winked at Jax who just furrowed his brows, making you chuckle.

“Okay, that’s my clue to take care of them… I’ll get back to you later, Mr.Teller” the biker agreed as you pulled your British friend back to the table where the others were.

“Do you think everyone is here already?” Sam asked as you pull a chair, sitting across him

“I don’t smell sulfur…” John seemed completely sober again, making you look at him questionably “Ask the other one, he wanted to get you back here” John light up a cigarette not looking up at you again,

“We need to work, not deal with your lovey-dovey thing” grumpy Dean Winchester muttered and you just groan in frustration before drinking your own whiskey.

The place was indeed full, but nothing strange really happened for around an hour and you decided to walk around, better than stand a grumpy Winchester for sure.

“Hey babe” Jax pulled you to his lap when you passed by him “Any luck?” you denied, leaning to kiss him before he continued talking to a man for a few minutes before we let you two.

“How do you like everything?” Jax asked in between kisses

“They seem nice...it’s nice to deal with old boring humans for a change” the man laughed at how you put the words.

“I never thought I’d hear someone call us boring…” you agreed before kissing him again, Jax’s hands playing around your hips.

“C’mon luv, you can’t battle demons with an empty stomach” John passed by you two with a plate full of food, making you laugh again at sit straight “Oh fuck…” you didn’t understand what happened until you saw it.

“Oh fuck…” you mimicked the magician as you saw it, the black smoke high on the ceiling

“That’s just from the bikes or the barbecue darling…” Jax tried to ease your mind again but you were on your feet.

“No it's not” you ran to John’s side “ watch him, Johnny I’ll get the boys” the British agreed, letting what he was holding aside and starting to whisper some incantations.

“Sam…” you called and pointed to where you and John saw the black smoke, the younger Winchester quickly called his brother attention

“We need …” _too late._ All hell broke loose before you could understand it, fights all around you, broken bottles flying around. You walked a few steps back closer to the other again, forming a circle and watching the others’ eyes turn black rage

“WHAT IS THIS?” Dean was trying to pull you closer to him, with no success due to the fact that he constantly had to fight some demons off.

“Brother… do something” Castiel screamed at Lucifer, both of them had their wings out, trying to protect the humans. 

“It’s not under my influence!!” Lucifer screamed, and a few steps from where you stood John and Jax were cornered. 

You pushed Lucifer aside and run towards your friend and the biker, a blade in each hand, fighting the demons off as they saw you,  you were at arms reach of Constantine when a sharp pain in your side made you stop. There was a piece of glass just  under  lungs, the red starting to flood as you held your side with both hands

“(Y/N)!” you heard Dean scream on the other side and Jax was already holding you. “Constantine take her out of here!” the magician was already whispering the spell and opening a portal, Jax seemed to question it for a second before jumping with you on his arms. 

“I can’t hold it for long!” John screamed at the others. 

“Go, I’ll take them out!” Castiel assured, indicating his brother he could go after you with John. Lucifer disappeared as John entered his portal. 

Jax laid you down on your bed, trying to hold up the bleeding

“Breath darling you gonna be alright, we gon’ fix this” you smile at him coughing some blood.

“Oh no luv, not you” John and Lucifer showed up at almost at the same time, just as Jax laid you down. The British run to a bag, starting to look for something. 

“She’s choking on her blood, we need doctors” Jax looked at the other men, still trying to hold the wound.

“No she doesn’t.” Lucifer sit by your side, his hand just above the wound “C’mon pet, I got you, I’m here.” Lucifer’s voice was sweet as you felt the tingling burning sensation of him healing you. You smiled softly at him before closing your eyes

“Thank you” your voice was but a whisper as you fell asleep, still weak. 

“Is she?” Jax looked scared at Lucifer, who just smirked.

“She’ll be fine, just a little sore…” Lucifer got up again as the door slammed open

“WHERE IS…” Dean stopped seeing you on the bed, bloody clothes and looking weak.

“Lads, she’s sleeping, outside…” John indicated the door and the two Winchesters got out “You too, handsome, she needs to rest” Jax agreed, not very happy about it as Lucifer stood by your side.

As the door closed, Dean’s fist found Jax’s jaw with a loud crackling sound.

“THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. YOU SET US UP, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Dean slammed the blonde man on the wall, Sam held him back but not for long as the older got to Jax again, but now he was not unprepared and ditched the punch, hitting Dean a couple of times before getting up and going back to the room, without saying a word but with a bloody smirk on his face. 

“Dean… what was that” Sam helped the brother get up

“That was really weird, Sam. It all felt like a setup, (Y/N) just can’t see it” Dean cleaned his face on his arm before fixing himself up again. 

“Yeah, sure it’s not jealousy, Dean? The guy did nothing!” Dean looked at his brother like a stranger before going for his room again. 

“Sammy boy!!” John got out of the room with Lucifer “Luci and I here are going to investigate some things…” Sam walked closer to them still uneasy about Lucifer “This is not looking nice to me…”

“How about (Y/N)? Is she really gonna be alright?” Sam sounded really concerned but the other two agreed.

“Oh yeah, just perfect. She just need s few days rest and a full English breakfast, alright??” Constantine winked at him “I’ll let you know if I find something” Sam agreed, before the two disappeared in a blink of an eye. Sam decided to get into your room to check. 

“Well at least is not the other fucker” Jax whispered annoyed, sitting by your side on the bed.

“My brother can be difficult, I give you that” Jax scoffed a laugh, fixing a piece of your hair “But we do care about (Y/N), a lot… she’s the sister I never had” 

“It’s a weird fraternal love your brother has for her…” Sam agreed with the blonde man, sitting on a chair near the bed.

“That case is… complicated” Sam make a weird face, trying to put up in words your and Dean’s dynamics “But she seems to like you… so” he shrugged as Jax smirked

“You’re not so bad yourself, I give you that” Sam laughed lightly at the phrase “Did this ever happen?” Jax looked at him as he agreed

“Worse… she was in hell for some time…The burning scars…” Sam started talking about a dark part of your past, he knew it wasn’t his place to talk but Jax did seemed worried.

“Hell? Like…” Sam agreed watching Jax curse under his breath.

“She was by Lucifer’s side and when he fell, we fell with him… Me, (Y/N), Lucifer and our brother Adam…” memories of the cage were still painful, you two never talked about it. 

“You seemed to care more about her than your brother…” Jax was truly interested in what Sam had to say. 

“Like I said, those two are a different story… I myself don’t go there” Jax agreed before looking at you again, still asleep

“I’m taking her to the club with me, she’ll be safer there” Sam wanted to object but just shut his mouth again, he knew better than decide anything for you. 

It took more hours for you to wake up, everything hurt and it felt worse than 10 hangovers. 

“Fuck, did I die?” you whined, opening your eyes a little to see Jax by your side.

“No, just a bad stab” Sam was the one talking, Jax was caressing your hair a little, helping you. 

“My lungs hurt, felt like I died…” you tried to sit up, looking at your bloody clothing “Lucifer?” the two men agreed “Thanks Luci…” you whispered on a smile before accepting the glass of water Jax held for you. 

“You scared the hell out of me, darling” Jax voice was low and caring, you looked up at him.

“Sorry, these guys just got used to it already… perks of the job” you laughed a little but it hurt too much and you whined “Are you okay?” he agreed, kissing your forehead.”Good”

“Hey I was thinking…”Jax sit in front of you “What if you came to the clubhouse with me for a few days until you get all better?” his smile was way too smooth for you to deal. 

“Jax I’m fine…” before you continued, Sam got up

“Constantine said you had to lay low for a few days… and eat a full English breakfast” _of course he did._ “You should rest (Y/N), we are working on the case, focus on get better….” Sam was very caring with you, you could feel his love and were thankful for it. Looking back at Jax, his mischievous smile got the best of you. 

“Okay, okay… you win” you laid back again, defeated. 

_Something tells you that you resting and Jax was not a realistic goal._

__

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh what is going on??
> 
> Also, nurse Jax.


	6. Gravity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Something always brings me back to you  
> It never takes too long  
> No matter what I say or do  
> I'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone"
> 
> This is a Dean-centered chapter.  
> also LOTS OF FEELS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May i suggest the song Gravity by Sara Beirelles?  
> it's our main course for the day. Grab your tissues.

"Where is everybody?" Dean's voice made you open your eyes, a smile fighting in your lips. He was halfway through the door.

"Sam went to get us food, Jax had some stuff... the club, I guess." you frowned, trying to sit up, Dean rushed to your side helping you and the smile you were fighting so hard found it's way to your lips "Thanks, De"

"Can I stay here with you for a while?" he asked, Dean was not much of an asker but he did. You agreed as the man sitting on your side in the bed.

"What's wrong?" you knew the hunter better than yourself, he could not keep things from you "This black eye, Jax's?" he agreed, as you studied his face before laying down a soft kiss over the bruises. "There you go, all better" the soft smile fighting on his lips almost won you over.

"How are you holding up?" Dean held your hand, a low voice

"I'm peachy" you chuckled as his face for you "Just not sure about bikinis anymore, it's gonna be an ugly scar..."

"Oh yeah you would look TERRIBLE in those" Dean jokes but he saw your eyes saddened "hey, it's just scarring... you look beautiful, you are beautiful" you tried to agree, not very convincing.

"Dean, most guys need at least a bottle of whiskey to think my body is beautiful.... I wasn't much before but years on the job really made an impact..." the Winchester shook his head, in disbelief.

"(Y/N)....damn, baby.... stop that nonsense. You are beautiful, you are perfect. Scars or no scars. You are..." he breathed out looking at you for some time "You're everything to me"

"Dean...stop saying those things" you liked those words too much.

"That son of a bitch said something to you?" you denied, it was just your head "(Y/N) I'm sorry but I can't trust that guy..."

"Let's not talk about it, Dean I don’t wanna fight, I'm tired..." he agreed, swallowing up his words again. "Come here, let's watch TV like we used to" you moved more to the side signaling Dean to lay by your side as you looked for the remote.

You turned on some daytime soap opera and laid your head on Dean's chest, getting settled and cozy listening to his heartbeat, his hand playing with your hair.

“If we were a little less hurt I’d say this looks like Vegas again” your voice was a sleepy mumble, breathing in Dean’s scent and his warmth.

“Yeah it does…” Dean’s weight shifted under you for a bit, getting something in his pocket “By the way, I wanted to give you this for I don’t know how long but…yeah” on his open hand, a ring almost like his own, with a date marked on the inside. “Happy anniversary, wife.” You held your head up, looking better at him and at the silver ring he held you “10 years, right? Wow. “ Dean was looking at you now like you were the most precious thing to ever exist.

“We gotta get a divorce at some point…” saying that, you took the ring from his hand “it’s just like my old one…”

“I know… I always wanted to give you back one of those. Mrs (Y/N) Winchester” now you mocked at Dean’s words, putting the ring on your left-hand finger, his eyes still sweet on you.

“I do like the name, I’m keeping it…” Dean laughed agreeing with you “God, we were such idiots… I was just 21 Dean, how could you agree in running to Vegas and getting married, are you crazy? Were we even more crazy?” Your eyes were focused on the ring in your hand, you loved that ring. The old one you lost when you met Lucifer, but never thought Dean would get you another.

“I am crazy about you, you know that. I was when we run away saying we would take a case in Arizona and just went to Vegas instead… I still feel the same every time I look at you…”

“It was a good weekend, we spent it on the hotel room… do you remember it?” There was no use in fighting right now, those memories were of a simpler time, even for a hunter… they were sweet. “I got married in ripped jeans and a Nine Inch Nail T-Shirt…” you fully started laughing now, how carefree you were

“I honestly don’t remember the clothing very well, due to the fact they didn’t stay on for long” you hit Dean playfully, making him chuckle and hug you again

“You remember how we used to believe we could get away? Have a life… maybe in Texas… you would work as a mechanical and I would go to college… we’d have two kids… you would teach them how to take care of themselves and monsters would be for Halloween only?” tears were flooding your eyes now, you did believe that in some point – that you could have a life with Dean. Be happy.

“I know we are old and this is never going to stop… but I’d still like to have a life with you” Dean cleaned your face, getting closer

“And what was Lisa? You had it with her…” Dean turned his face from your words, not denying them “Did she know about us?” he denied

“She didn’t know anything about all this … and mostly, I’d not marry her.” Dean’s words were beautiful but you had a hard time believing in them, so you just tried to focus on anything that were not his eyes, or his freckles, or his lips...

“Anyway, do we still need a divorce when both parts died and came back? It IS ‘til death do us part, right? They never mention the afterlife… or I mean, I didn’t die but I do went to Hell and all, does it qualify as death to normal standards? We really should consult a law-’” Dean’s lips were in yours, taking his life from your own breath. You missed his lips, soft and sweet., his arms held you closer laying you down on the bed again and leaning over you. Your heart could rip your chest open right now, his tongue across your parted lips as your hands caressed his hair, pulling him closer. The subtle musk and mint smell from him, the pie-sweet and whisky burning taste of his lips intoxicating yours, his calloused hands from the job carefully holding you like you were about to vanish between his fingers… Dean’s smell, taste, touch, it was everything you remembered and you tried so hard to forget.

Dean was no different to the sensations, your soft skin under his touch, he could feel the goosebumps forming as his hands embrace you, the fruity smell your shampoo and the cinnamon of your perfume, your hands trembling pulling him closer to you and both hearts racing together.

You parted the kiss for a second to breathe, your eyes locked on his green ones, emotions and memories getting the best of both of you as Dean start to kiss your cheeks and your jaw before going to your lips again, your hands now going for his shoulders as he deepened the kiss, his body carefully pressed over yours.

The truth was you could not deny Dean, or escape it. He was like the Sun, warm, radiant... in which you orbitate - and you were not sure it was a choice.

There was something that always pulled you to Dean again, like gravity. And you'd always fall, and he'd always catch you. Maybe it was destiny, some God given role... you had no idea all you knew was all it took was being close, a single touch, a smile... you were his again, just as much as he was yours.

It scared you, both of you, how strong the feeling was even after being away, even after years, after death... what Bobby and John called a teen crush only grew stronger, but on this life as a hunter having someone mean so much was dangerous for both parts. Of course, you still were the so called apocalyptic romeo and juliet but yet... you wanted to be as far away as possible from Dean to protect him, because _you loved him_.

"I love you Dean" the small whisper died on the back of your throat mid kisses and touches, but not fast enough for the hunter not to listen.

Dean stopped, looking at you in disbelief, making you realize you said the words out loud. _Shit_.

"I... I...you should go, this.... this can't happen again" Dean was still star struck from your words, you were trying to convince yourself not to continue kissing that beautiful dumb face.

"You just said you love me" the man smiled

"No I don't... I didn't, I didn't say anything... you probably hit your head or was the TV, stupid daytime shows" trying to fix yourself you turn off the TV. _Where is Sam?_

"Yes you did, you still love me, stop denying that" now YOU wanted to punch that cocky smile off Dean's face, just turning to the other side and not looking at him. Still, his smile burning through you. "I love you too, just the same, just like before" and you couldn't help but smile. 

"Hey they were out of the salad you asked ...." Sam came into the room with the food, surprised to see his brother "is everything okay?"

"AWESOME" Dean smile and Sam looked and you who just rolled your eyes, smiling again and accepting the food. 

"There's pie on the other box Dean...." Sam casually mentioned while reading something on the computer.  
"Thanks Sammy but I got the best peach pie I could ever ask for" the older one winked at you, making Sam frown.

  
_A divorce lawyer. You needed a divorce lawyer._


	7. About Sunsets and acting like a bitch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE FEELS WITH DEAN
> 
> and a good hook for what's coming.

* * *

Knocks on the door made you whine before getting up again, still sore. Dean was on the other side, a pack of beers and the Impala keys, he smiled at your confused face.

“Get dressed we are going out” the hunter smiled, sparks on his eyes.

“Dean I’m still sore can we please…” he denied, pulling you by the hand “Dean I am barefoot” a squeak escaped your lips and he stopped before shrugging and getting you on his arms, you squeaked again, laughing.

“There you go, no need to walk babygirl” the hunter put you on the front seat of the Impala before running to the driver’s side. You could only smile, dumbass hunter.

Dean drove for almost an hour, old songs playing on the car and a smart smile on his face.

“Since when do you keep my old cassette tapes here?” it was an old mix you made for Dean when you were teens, he said the grunge music you liked was lame, so you would make him listen. And now you could swear he was just singingunder his breath.

“Since you left” his voice was not sad, not resentful, just telling you with a loving smile. It made you stop looking at him and listen to the songs again, your stomach turning.

“This song was our first dance…” you laughed softly at the memory of your Vegas wedding. “Because you said we had to have the first dance…”

“And we did, on the hotel room… with apple cider and burgers” you laughed again

“Horrible combination” Dean agreed with you saying _“never again”_ over your laughs.

Your humming was audible now, singing the song. Dean’s eyes went to the road and to your face, a smile on his lips as he started to sing along with you and before you realized you were both singing at the top of your lungs to a special part of the song.

“ _Never opened myself this way  
Life is ours, we live it our way  
All these words I don't just say  
And nothing else matters”_

Dean’s hand went for your leg, softly, and just stood there, you were looking through the window, wind on your hair and Dean was singing. It was peaceful and familiar.

The Impala stopped at a seemingly desert area, you could see hills on the distance and Dean looked at you again

“You love to watch the sunset and drink while talking about nothing…” He remembered… it has been years since you’d done it, since before Hell.

“Yeah I do…” words couldn’t express how cared and loved you felt right now. Dean got to your door and opened it, signaling for you to get on his back so you wouldn’t walk barefoot on the dirt and small rocks, and you did, holding him.

Beers opened and both of you on the hood of the Impala. Silence, comfortable silence. It started with you just beside him, then your head on his shoulder, then he laid against the windshield and you settle yourself between his legs, your back against his chest.

“Thank you” your voice was low, the wind was getting colder and Dean held you close as the firsts stars shown on the sky. He hummed in response, snuggling on the crook of your neck. “I wish things were different…us” Dean raised his head and look at you the best he could.

“We can still make it work…” there was a determination on Dean’s voice, he was being true. “Let’s make this work, (Y/N). I love you, we faced the end of the world and we could die any day on this job… We deserve this, to be happy” you could almost believe him.

“Dean, you cheated on me… I was on the motel room and you were with a bartender…” There, you said it. You never talked about it before with him, you just left that night. “Back from Hell, after everything… we got together and you wait for me to sleep and went to Miss Barbie Tennesee”

“You were with Lucifer…” _yeah, before that, then I went to Hell for what it felt like forever, Winchester._

“You never even said you were sorry, admit what you did...That was all I wanted, you know? Honesty. Damn, Dean… all I ask of you is honesty” you half-way turn around now, facing him “I was heartbroken, afraid, lost…”

“I’m sorry” his voice was honest, his eyes found yours and you could see the pain “It was a weird time, you and Sam in Hell… then you come back, we got all this… these feelings and… I’m sorry (Y/N)”

“Thank you” your reply was just as honest and direct as his words, and on the silence between you he pulled you closer, stopping with his face almost touching yours, his tears could be seen on the yellow lights. Dean breathed out a couple of times with his forehead against yours, his nose nuzzling against yours.

“Don’t give up on us… I need you. It’s me and you.” you could hear Dean’s heartbeat on the silence, his tears on your face. “I love you, please, I’m sorry” cupping his face, you kissed the man. Slowly at first, still afraid, there was too much buried there. Dean put his arms around you laying you on the windshield carefully, deepening the kiss as you let him

“De… De, stop” your hands were on Dean’s chest now, pushing him when you noticed he went for the skin under your shirt. The hunter got a confused face. “I need time… It’s too much at once” he smiled, lightly kissing you again and laying by your side, watching the stars.

As you went back to the motel, Jax was waiting for you in the parking lot. Dean growled when he saw the biker but you choose to ignore it

“Hi Jackie” you smiled at his smile for you, opening arms for a hug

“How are you feeling darling?” he kissed you quickly and you smiled again, mumbling a _“fine”_ under your breath. “Ready to go to the club?” _oh fuck_

“Where are you going, (Y/N)?” Dean asked coming closer

“I’m … going to spend some time with Jax at the clubhouse, I said I would… to recover” you saw the light in Dean’s eyes die, and your own face was sad. But still, you were too confused, Dean was sweet as candy but dangerous to the heart as poison “I need some time…”

“With him??” the hunter scolded

“That’s not your business, man” Jax voice got louder

“It is when she’s my - “ you cut up his phrase.

“SHUT UP WINCHESTER” he looked at you, confused “I need some time alone, I… I’m going to my room” and walked towards it, slamming the door.

_________________________________________

A few days later and out of clues you ended up accepting Jax’s offer to spend some days at the clubhouse, much to Dean’s disapproval.

It was weirdly calm and you’d spend most of the days with him. You could really get used to this – except of course when you saw the ring on your finger

“(Y/N)?” you picked up the phone, uncertain, why was John calling you? “Get out of there luv, as fast as you can”

“What are you talking about John? I’m at the clubhouse, with Jax…everything is fine…”

“Get out of there, now, it’s..” and the click sound of the phone. You looked and it was dead.

“There’s something wrong…” Jax’s eyes were on you, curious “John is back he might be in trouble” you got up from the bed but Jax held your wrist

“C’mon darling, those guys really need you for everything? I mean, don’t they have angels and all?” his pout was way too cute and you let yourself being pulled at his body again, his kisses on your face “You are on medical leave, and should stay here, with me…” his smirk almost made you forget your phone died…

_well, the boys could take care of themselves._

___________________________________________________

“Dead!” Constantine mumbled, angry at the phone. “We need to get (Y/N), this is serious…”

“Hold on, hold on Johnny boy, what’s going on? Where is Lucifer?” Dean asked the British, trying to make sense of his words

“Lucifer is after something I need… an old thing, just to be sure” Constantine was pacing around the room, lighting a cigarette.

“Did you find anything?” Sam’s voice now made the blond look up, making John stop.

“ _It’s bad… “_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOOOOoooOOOOooOOO
> 
> WHAT IS IT


	8. Old loves die hard, old hate die harder.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who really is (Y/N) and why everyone seemed so interested in her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLUCKE UP FOR YOU HISTORY CLASS KIDDOS

"It's my fault, she helped me with a case... He must've got a taste for her them..." Dean was getting worried and angry, Sam's puppy eyes were asking for more explanation. "There is no time, we need to find her" John walked out of the room but Dean held his elbow.

"What is going on?" Dean's breath was heavy and his eyes were worried, not letting go of Constantine who breathed out.

“You know who she really is, right?” Dean scoffed confused at the phrase, _what does he mean?_ “Why her parents died that way and fight and demons seemed to follow her… and yet, never hurt her, why Lucifer wanted her...”

“You saying (Y/N) is a demon?” Sam cut it, _this was bullshit_

“You see, the problem with most people is they forget completely a whole lot of other beings were here before demons and angels and your God took over…” John lit yet another cigarette just as Dean took it out of his lips and step on it

“Use your words, magician… explain” Dean’s tone was deeper and more urgent than before.

“Erishkigal…the Sumerian ruler of the underworld, often synchronized and Hekate and Hel. She’s not a demon... no, she’s a witch, the ultimate demon queen” Sam was now in awe and took a seat again, his hands running through his long hair.

“That’s why…” Constantine agreed with the younger Winchester

“That’s why Lucifer went after her when he walked free, he knew… her powers are bigger than his when she’s fully juiced up…She rules all. He wanted to marry her and rule along with her, Hell and Earth and all…” John now finally lit a cigarette, Dean completely in shock “Myth says… you shall not drink, or eat, have a sit with her, bath or lay with Erishkigal otherwise you shall be hers…” John smirked at Dean who was now opening and closing his mouth in shock “Don’t worry mate, (Y/N) didn’t know until a little time ago when we worked together… you see, I myself have a history with Sumerian wankers” Dean agreed, trying to pull himself together.

“Yeah...guess I’m going to Hell...again…” Dean concluded, “Hey Sammy, guess who’s gonna be King of Hell now?” Sam rolled his eyes at his brother

“Not you if we don’t move fast” Constantine corrected him “ Erishkigal was married to a god named Nergal, the god of war and death… it was a tragic story, at first Nergal tried to kill her with his ax, and the goddess terrified, seduced him. They laid together for 6 days and 6 nights, on the seventh morning Nergal run away from her, not wanting the life in the underworld. Erishkigal was furious and went after him, destroying all crops and life on land until she got him back on the underworld, making him her king.” John concluded the myth

“So, this Nergal is the one with (Y/N)?” Sam asked, getting a positive head nod from the British “That’s why we couldn’t find regular demons, Dean… because it’s a god, a pagan god, but still a god.” Dean agreed

“How do we kill it?” practical Dean was back on

“You don’t, Erishkigal has to be the one to send him back…” John corrected him “Can we go? Like I said… six days… you guys are here for a week now, we need to move, fast. Nergal must be acting as we speak” John opened the door signaling outside for the brothers “HE’S GONNA BLOODY KILL (Y/N) TO GET ERISHKIGAL” he screamed as the boys jumped on their feet.

______________________________________________________________

“What are you lighting up?” you woke up again from a nap you didn’t remember taking - _why have you been so sleepy?_ \- turning your body seeing Jax’s silhouette lighting some candles and incense “I never pictured you as a romantic, Teller…” you smiled at him but as the blonde man turned to you his chest had scarring still bloody. His face covered with blood, behind him, a rooster dead. The sigil, the blood, the rooster. “Nergal…” your eyes widened as you tried to run, chants echoing on the room while you tried to burst the door open. Too late, the Sun when dark for a moment before the light invaded the room, and the husky voice growled.

_“Oh I’m the one bringing you back now, Erishkigal”_

__

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you guys thinking of this!


	9. Saint of the Last Resorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nergal got you, was this all a plan? How about Jax?  
> What happens next??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeyyooooo
> 
> sorry for being absent college is back and i was quite busy (also one of my cats passed and well, I GOT SUPER DEPRESSED) 
> 
> but I guess I'm slowly getting back.

Trying to run was pointless now, the god had you cornered, circling you like it’s prey. 

“Jax, Jax I know you’re in there…” Nergal laughed, dark and gutural, kneeling near you with curiosity on his dark eyes.

“Oh love, pretty boy is long gone…” your eyes widened in shock, this couldn’t be, _this was your fault…_ your life broke so many around you.

“Bring him back” tears start rolling down your cheeks “he has nothing to do with it Nergal, you want me not him” he seemed to consider for a moment, before smirking again.

"You see I could, but as much as I am a being of my word, I hope humans to keep theirs..." He looked at your confused eyes again, chuckling "A deal was made and I held my part, it's only fair they hold theirs" 

"You don't make deals, Nergal..." his face went close to yours again, but you didn't flinch.

"I do when they can lead me to you" the confusion only grew in your face, making the god give you the traditional Jax-smirk that made you swoon before sitting in front of you on the wooden floor "Lemme tell you a story, my queen; some years ago, a woman called me to deal with her husband... apparently he was weak." he chuckled, his eyes in delight before looking at you again "All that rage and anger growing strong, like a plague, it was too good to pass...And what a surprise when she reached to me again some months ago, this time asking for her son." Nergal fixed himself on his seat, getting closer to you like he was telling you a secret "that's pretty boy here, he needed to save his son born practically dead, really ugly thing" _Abel_...

"So he agreed with all this?" you didn't want Nergal to see you vulnerable, but again, you did care for Jax.

"Now, agreeing is a strong word... I did him a favor, he owed me one, and I just decided that maybe since now you were so close to him it was time to collect. It was you or poor ... whatever his name is, the child" his smile was almost sadistic while explaining "It's not hard, a couple of demons, the overgrown baboons come running, you come after them...gotcha" Nergal winked, satisfied, _it was all a trap for you_. "If you're asking if he indeed had feelings for you, love, he did... he begged me to stop, saying how lovely you were but you know they all leave you..." the god's hand found your cheek, cupping kindly "Your parents, the hunter, the magician... even Lucifer, didn't they all leave you?" his touch went from sweet to gripping your jaw strong enough to bruise and pulling you towards him "DIDN'T THEY ALL LEAVE YOU, LIKE YOU LEFT ME ERISHKIGAL??" the screams made you clench, closing your eyes. "All the pain I felt, the betrayal... you gonna feel it, my love, until you remember who you are and that you cannot leave me, ever." his voice was soft again, making you open your eyes slowly, he was closer than you expected "I can keep this form if you like..." Nergal had a predator smile before forcing his lips on yours, a rough kiss, bloody and full of pure hatred but at the same time, needy and _hungry_. 

"Jax... Jax if you are there please fight, for Abel, you gotta fight him Jackie..." you whispered against his lips, making Nergal laugh again before knocking you out

"I don't think so, love" 

  
_______________________________

  
"What are we waiting for??" Sam finally spoke while Dean was pacing around like a beast on a cage outside the building where Nergal kept (Y/N).

"We can't go in like this, your pretty face won't stop Nergal, handsome, nor your puppy eyes" John said to Dean first, then Sam, he was waiting

"You said it yourself he would kill (Y/N)..." Dean complained now, but the magician gave him no mind running to meet a blonde man a few steps away

"I had to steal it from a nunnery, in Mexico" John took the talisman, looking at it closely

"Yeah, I'm sure that was a big problem for you, right luv? Heavyweight on your shoulders?" Constantine put the object in his pocket only to meet Lucifer's deadly gaze "Thank you, Luci" the archangel nod

"For (Y/N), I did this for her, get her" Constantine agreed, watching the other disappear.

"Hey isn't he going to help, maybe?" Dean scoffed, visibly nervous.

"Old Luc can't help here we need someone else" John walk closer to the building's door bracing himself

"Who?" Sam asked from the Impala, as confused as the brother.

"There's a tape with a Sumerian exorcism on the backseat, you might need it" Constantine's smile could be noticed through his words

"John who is coming?" Sam asked again, a more serious tone

"An old friend, he and these guys have a past" John then got the talisman out of this pocket "I, John Constantine, terminate all wards and protections. _Igo iohannes constantinus terminatur totum tutella. Quod praecipio... Solacium capere daemonis_ " the talisman burned hot and John brought it to his forearm, burning the mark and letting out a growl. 

"What is he doing?" Dean watched the man supposed to save you fall on his knees after some kind of spell

"A summoning..." Sam started, unsure " he's summoning a demon to his own body" the hunter could hear his older brother breathe out a " _fuck_ " before going to the trunk. _Constantine better be right..._

  
____________________________

You woke up feeling your head in pain, you were wearing a dark robe seeming ceremonial and laid on a circle on the floor, _was that blood?_  
Your hands were partially restricted from being tied by a rope, and so were your feet, _you needed a plan..._

The door being almost knocked out made you jump, if it was the boys they needed to run before Nergal got them, they had no chance and you knew Dean was stupid enough to try.

But it wasn't Dean.

"John what are you doing here?" the small growl and red eyes made you push your body to the opposite direction "Pazuzu?" he growled again, a sinister smile to you.

_Oh great_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support, I'll correct any mistakes as soon as I can!


	10. Hammer of the Gods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle.  
> Death, life, questions, answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short one but it just fits finishing like this, sorry. 
> 
> also sorry if it's bad written or just bad, I needed this moment.

"Listen, I am not sure you can understand me but we are cool aren't we? You remember me, right? Nice. Hi Paz" Pazuzu approached you ripping the ropes on your wrists before Nergal could come back

"My Queen...." the low husky voice was very different from John's, taking you by surprise. Pazuzu had never spoken with you before, just growls "Where is he?"

"I don't know, Nergal knocked me out..." you got up with some help, Pazuzu put you behind him when you heard footsteps coming from the other room.

Nergal got back into the room, his ax in hand, it was for you. Loud growls filled up space in a haze of what could only be described as a fight for dominance and carnage. It was bloody, very bloody, but both of them still fighting, baring teeth.

"Get away from her" Nergal growled again, on a warning tone. Pazuzu just showed him more teeth, assuming a protective posture in front of you. It was bad, really bad.

The fight started again, both of them rolling on the floor. It was more animalistic than human, the ax threw aside. A noise from the door made you look again, Sam and Dean stood there, as shocked as you, Nergal had Pazuzu pinned down under his knee, bloody but still fighting.

"(Y/N), (Y/N) listen to me, I know you are scared, but you gotta do something, he's gonna kill Constantine..." Sam whispered to you under his breath, getting closer.

“I know what to do… I’m just… scared” your eyes looked for Dean’s who had his traditional hunter look. You _had_ to do it, for Constantine, for Sam, Dean, for Jax… tears rolled down your cheeks while you took your final decision

“(Y/N), what are you gonna do?” Dean was calling you, but in your head, It was so far away all you did was keep walking towards the ax “(Y/N)!!” Dean again, you got the weapon in your hands, Nergal still holding Pazuzu down.

“I love you both, I’ll always love you, thank you, boys” you mouthed to them, Dean almost running to you, but Sam held him back, you close your eyes and brought the ax to your throat, breathing deeply one last time before letting the blade slide across, red blood pumping down your neck.

Darkness. It was not cold, not hot. Just...dark, it was not Hell, nor Heaven. You felt a pull across your chest and bright light, you were back – or at least part of you.

“Nergal! Let go of him!” your voice was not your own, a giant amount of power radiated in you, you were there but also on the backseat of your mind. _Erishkigal._

“Hello, my love” Nergal turned back to you, a sinister smile on his face

“Let Pazuzu go, let the humans go” Erishkigal warned him again, the power inside growing like wildfire. Nergal was now a few steps from you, Pazuzu looked up before passing out, Sam and Dean run towards Constantine.

“And if I don’t?” again, Nergal was being sarcastic, touching your face defiant, you felt the fire increase.

“You know what I can do…” Nergal smiled, defiant at the phrase.

“I have nothing to lose, Erishkigal.” his growl was closer almost touching your lips. You showed your teeth in response for a second before raising your left hand.

“I am done with you” the tone was a warning, one last time “Bring the human back, go away”

“I’m not leaving without you” you could see the other three people in the room nervous, watching the tension grew, it was not a loving, caring statement. It was a threat

On a fast movement, Nergal threw you across the room, but you stood still, just destroying everything you hit.

“Nergal!” the scream was deeper now, before you understood you were over him, the screams in some language you didn’t understand but spoke anyway. “Let them go” your new voice screamed one last time before a blue flame explodes in the room.

Nergal was on the floor, passed out. You wanted to run and see if Jax was back but Erishkigal turned to Sam and Dean, but her energy was not threatening.

“I’ll bring her back, don’t worry, and healed” her voice was calming, you could see the tension on the boys lighten up. “Pazuzu is going too, don’t worry, the magician will be safe” Dean agreed.

“Thanks” Sam's voice was almost unsure, but you felt a smile grow on your lips before the darkness enveloped you again.

It was you again, your hand went to your neck, not a scratch. The blood on your clothes and the floor proved it was not a dream.

“Sam?” you asked, noticing he was holding you.

“Hey easy, easy….hi, welcome back.” you smiled softly to him, sitting on the floor slowly. Dean was watching you from the door, Constantine passed out.

“John…” Sam tranquilized you with a nod

“He’ll be fine” Dean was the one speaking “You scared me, babygirl” you shrugged, not knowing what to say.

Then you saw him - Jax on the floor, bloody and beaten; you crawled to him, not sure if you could stand.

"Jax? Jax!!! Jax, wake up please, please!!" you held the man closer to you, relieved to see him breathing. "Wake up Jackie, please, think about Abel... your kid needs you, Jax, please, don't do this to me" tears burned down your cheeks, holding into the biker while praying to any superior being for him to be okay. “Jackie… please” your whispers were a prayer, your forehead leaned against his.

“Hey…” the weak voice made you open your eyes, it was not more than a whisper, but made you smile relieved, kissing his face “ouch…”

“Sorry, I… you’re alive!” your face leaned against his again “You need a doctor, you are hurt, we need to…” you tried to get up but Jax did his best to hold you.

“(Y/N), I… I’m sorry, I never meant to… Abel…” you agreed, kissing his forehead lightly.

“We’ll talk about this later, okay? You need a doctor” Jax agreed, lightly smiling at you.

You got up to meet Dean’s eyes hurt, facing you.

_Oh, right._

__

__


	11. Your ex, my ex, hospital mess.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how'd say you'd find peace in war?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLD ON THE TIDES ARE CHANGING

"Where is he?" a middle-aged woman run into the hospital, the doctor responsible for Jax met her halfway.

"Jax is gonna be fine, Gemma, don't worry" the doctor tranquilized her, who took in a deep breath, nodding "they brought him in..." with a head movement, she signaled you to the woman named Gemma, who walked up to you.

"What did you do to my son, you crow eater slut?" she went over you but Dean and Sam stopped her.

"Calm down, lady" Dean's voice was calm and low but imposing.

"He is my son!" you could see the rage in the woman's eyes

"It was an accident, Jax... he, he saved me"

"Jackson never had an accident on his life..." her tone was threatening

"Excuse me, Gemma... Jax is awake." the doctor smiled at her before turning to you "Are you (Y/N)? Jax asked to see you" your eyes widened, as the woman showed you the way.

"How is she seeing my son before me?" Gemma tried to follow but the doctor stopped her "Do not try me, doc"

"Sorry, Gemma, Jax asked to see her. I'll get you in a bit" and she turned back to you, opening the doors and guiding you on the hallway.

"Here she is, call me if you need anything" the doctor smiled at Jax from the door, watching him smile back.

"Thanks, Tara" you approached Jax's bed as his eyes found yours. "How are you feeling?"

"Yeah, guess I'm gonna live..." you shrugged as the biker furrowed his eyebrows "Oh, by the way, I met your mother outside"

"Jesus Christ..." Jax laughed lightly "too bad?"

"I faced monsters who didn't scare me as much" you agreed, laughing again. Jax held your hand and lowered his eyes.

"I'm sorry...I know this doesn't solve things or what I did but I am." you could see honesty on his baby blue eyes, pain "I could see what he did to you, to John...I tried to stop, I..." the despair growing on his voice, you shushed Jax with a light kiss.

"You did what you had to do for your son, I get it. This life is... messy, nothing is 100% good or bad, it's okay. We are okay, Teller." you smiled, closer to his lips again.

"We good?" you agreed before kissing him again, trying not to hurt even more his bruised face.

"I guess I'm a sucker for a pretty face" the moment was interrupted by the door being slammed open

"Get away from my boy you skank" Gemma pulled you from near the bed a threw you at the wall before you could understand what was happening.

"Mom! Stop!! Stop, she's cool!" Jax's voice was louder than hers now, he trying the best he could to stop the woman from going at you.

"She is the reason you are on this bed!" Gemma accused you again, pointing a finger.

"No, she is not, she is the reason I am alive" Jax finally screamed, making his mother quietly look at him "Your deal is the reason I am here, Nergal..."

"What?" the lady seemed confused, lowering her hands "my... Nergal..." you helped her sit on the armchair near the bed.

"I'm a hunter... We ended up in Charming after a bunch of demons showed up" the explanation was calm and slow, as the woman rose her eyes at you.

"The boys outside?" you agreed

"Hunters too..." Gemma agreed as you and Jax started to explain what happened to her, the best you could all that happened.

“Well, thanks then… (Y/N)” Gemma finally spoke, watching carefully as Jax held your hand “and you two?” now her look was on her son

“We’re… getting to know each other” Jax smirked at you, who lightly blushed.

“Does the doctor know that?” her voice was lower, making you furrow your eyebrows. _The doctor?_

“I’ll check John and the boys…” you signaled the door “let you two alone…” as you tried to walk away Jax pulled you back to him, kissing you one last time.

“See you later?” you agreed, a smile on your lips.

The smile didn’t last, getting to the reception you found Constantine arguing to some medic staff and nurses about how he was going home.

“John!” you tried to stop him, with no success.

“C’mon luv, you know I won’t sit here. A few spells and whiskey, I’m good as new” he winked as you rolled your eyes, _that was John…_ “I’m leaving, thank you very much” the magician charmed the nurses again before walking out of the hospital, you on his heels.

“All here, let’s go!” Dean was leaning against the Impala, Sam, near to him.

“I’ll see you guys at the motel…” you agreed, but Dean stopped again.

“We’re not going to the motel. It’s all clean here, there’s no reason to stay” _What…_ “We checked out for you too, your stuff is in the trunk. We go there, get your bike, go” _We do what now, Winchester? Who’s we?_

“Wait, Dean… You don’t make decisions for me… I can’t go now, Jax is here, it’s gonna be on this freaking hospital for a couple more days, I can’t leave him like this” Dean laughed, ironically after a few moments of shock looking at you.

“Of course, OF COURSE” the hunter’s hands run through his hair, frustrated. Sam threw his back, inside of the car

“What Dean? He is there because of a job… I am not leaving Jax alone” your voice was firm as Dean approached you, clenching his jaw.

“You and I both know the job is not the reason you’re are staying” his whisper was aggressive, but you didn’t flinch.

“That’s my problem, Winchester” you could see tears forming on the corner of his eyes, your own eyes burning.

“Don’t do this again” the aggressiveness now dead, just heartbreaking in his voice “We were onto something here, again…”

“It’s getting late Dean, you better go” you didn’t look him in the eyes approaching the car and getting your stuff, Sam got out to hug you and kiss your face.

“Take care Sammy” you smiled at him before looking at Constantine, who was on the backseat “Take care of them for me, will ya English Boy?”

“Oh, Sammy knows how long I’ve been trying to take good care of him” classic John, you kissed both of them before Dean got into the car, making it clear he wanted to leave.

As the Impala got to the road you could feel the tears finally getting the best of you.

_“See ya, Dean”_ he couldn't hear your whisper, and it died on your throat.

"Family?" you recognized the voice coming from behind you, _Jax's mother._

"You could say that..." you turned to the woman, cleaning your eyes "Don't worry I'll be fine, I'm a tough one" you smiled at her, who mirrored the gesture.

"I can see that." the woman took a long drag of her cigarette before looking at you again "I heard what you said, about staying 'cuz of Jax..." oh yeah, that... 

"Gemma, we..." you started but she stopped you before anything else. 

"Whatever you and my son do it's your business, baby, and apparently he likes you." she smiled again "just remember there is the club behind the pretty blue eyes. You love the man, you gotta love the club" _love? I don't..._

"I didn't say anything about love..." your laugh was nervous, making Gemma smirk

"Of course " Gemma tossed the end of the cigarette before kissing your cheek and walk away "I'll get one of the boys to bring your Harley" _my..._

"Thanks" was everything you were able to mutter, confused as she took the keys from your hand.

With Gemma gone, you headed back to the hospital to check on Jax, as you went down the hallway the same doctor as before stopped you for a second

"(Y/N), right?" you agreed with a head nod

"Is there anything wrong with my insurance?" the doctor denied, as she guided you to the chapel.

"Listen, sorry to ask but ... are you with Jax?" _Am I with...?_

"Okay if this is about the insurance, I was the one who caused it that's why..." the doctor cut you

"It's not about the insurance!" her voice rose up a tone, making you stop "You know? Nevermind... I gotta go for the rounds. I'll see you around, (Y/N)" you agreed, watching her leave before getting up and head to Jax's room again.

"Hey..." Jax's voice was soft when he watched you get into the room, his eyes puzzled by your backpack "Are you leaving?"

"Wha- no... the boys left, they checked out the motel, both rooms. I said I was staying for a while..." you shrugged, putting the bag on the chair and getting closer to Jax.

"You stayed in Charming for me?" his smile was bigger now, making you blush.

"I had to make sure you were okay" your response was low, almost shy. "Also, I just don't wanna deal with Dean Winchester right now" Jax furrowed his brows, smirking

"And I thought I had a bad breakup with Tara..." _Tara, the doctor..._

"How did you know about me and Dean?" you never told him, and Dean didn't either, you were sure.

"I'm not blind, darling, the man is stupid about you" Jax pulled you to sit on the bed with him, you snuggled closer, smelling his familiar scent.

"He is stupid, alright" Jax laughed lightly, as you caressed his hair. "It was a way too complicated thing to last, in this life." your voice was more serious now "We all made mistakes, it's ok, but he did lead me to you" your eyes met Jax's and he kissed you.

"I guess I owe him one" Jax pulled you closer to his body, whining in pain afterwards. "I like you, (Y/N), I would like to give this a try."

"Even after I told you about Dean?" he pouted for a second before smiling again

"You know the doc? Tara?" you agreed, cutting him

"She's your ex, I know" Jax looked surprised at you. "She just stopped me outside to ask if we were together, I put 2 and 2 together..."

"And are we? Together?" you didn't reply, you didn't _know_ what to reply. Jax could see your insecurities. "I'm not gon' lie to you, for a long time I thought me and Tara were meant to be, that she was the love of my life" his eyes were full of sadness and pain. "But we couldn't last... her life is much different than mine and she couldn't accept me, the club, my life..." you nodded, caressing his face before kissing it, "I think that's what I saw in you..."

"The mess?" you rose an eyebrow, making the biker deny

"The marks, the pain, the loneliness...Maybe we can find the end of it, together" his forehead was now leaning against yours, his lips lightly caressing yours while he spoke.

"Maybe we can..." there was no point in denying the attraction you felt, being with Jax was comfortable, easy, human. _Is this how normal people feel? this safe?_ His lips found yours again, tenderly and deep. "Yeah we can definitely try this" you smirked when the biker broke the kiss, making him smile

**"Good** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT THE LAST OF DEAN DONT KILL ME


	12. Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> domestic! SAMCRO

Jax stayed in the hospital for another day and even though he insisted you could stay at the room on the club, you decided to stay there and not be the weird new girl hanging around. You didn’t know the cub that well.

“You should really go to sleep at the club, darling.” Jax tried to argue when you were waiting for him to be discharged.

“I’m fine, I promise. When you live on the road as I do, you get used to sleeping anywhere” you helped him with his vest. “And also, your mother wanted me to keep you on track so you know nothing about the surprise cookout she’s fixing at your house right now and you know NOTHING about” you winked at him getting your own stuff “Are you well enough to ride?” Jax agreed with a smile.

“As long as I am alive, I can ride” _bikers…_ you gave him the keys to your motorcycle signing the last papers from the hospital bills, and getting out. “I never thanked you for covering up the bills…” you smiled, shrugging

“You should thank…” you picked up your credit card for a second and read it “… Elizabeth-Marie Green, whoever that is...” and made a funny face at the name, looking at a surprised Jax “what? It’s not like hunting monsters pay the bills. Also, I am technically dead” Jax shook his head for a moment before getting on the bike

“We got a lot to catch up” you agreed, holding onto him with a warm feeling growing inside your chest, his familiar scent on your nostrils.

Jax’s house was nice, light colors with a big garage and plants, it looked, peaceful. Obviously now it was packed with bikes and loud noises a table in the backyard and music playing. Everyone cheered when you two got into the house, coming to see Jax.

“I’m gonna get us a beer” you smiled at him, lowkey shy in the middle of that biker pandemonium, the blonde man agreed, pointing to the kitchen.

“Oh hi, sweetie” Gemma turned at you “Would you mind feeding Abel while I finish these steaks? Thank you!” and as she kissed your cheek, the woman walked out to the backyard area, leaving you with the baby. You…. And a baby.

“ _Okay you can do this_ ” was your first thought looking at the little blonde guy on the baby chair “Hi Abel …” he looked up at you, big blue eyes like his dad “… hi! Come here… you are just charming as your pops, aren’t you? Yes, you are” Abel was smiling at you now, making those cute baby noises that you didn’t know you loved “Okay, here we go. You gotta help me, little man, I’m kinda new at the baby duty” as Abel took the bottle you started to rock him lightly, humming a random lullaby your mother used to sing.

“Look at him, not even out of the diapers and stealing all the ladies” Jax was leaning against the door frame, looking at you playing with his son.

“Oh Teller I found the real heartthrob of this family, you’re over.” You smirked at him before looking at Abel again, playing with his baby hands. Jax came closer to you.

“You’re good with him” the tenderness in his voice was clear, looking at the scene before taking his kid in his arms “Do you like her, buddy? Yeah, me too.” Jax smiled at Abel’s noises, looking at you next “He wants to know if you’d like to stay here with us. You could save on hotel money…” _Here? On your house? With you and your son?_

“Well, tell Abel that I’ll think of it… and tell Abel’s father this doesn’t mean he got a free babysitter” you kissed Jax on the lips with a smile, whispering the last part

“There goes my fantasy” Jax faked sadness and you had to laugh “C’mon everyone is asking about you, they want to properly meet you” _everyone?_

Jax guided you to the backyard, where a large wooden table was put down and lots of people gather around, drinking beer and eating, talking loud over the music.

“Hey, hey, HEY YOU OLD SHITS…” Jax shouted after handing Abel back to Gemma, who walked inside “I want you to meet someone” he smiled when all eyes were on him and pulled you by the hand, closer to him “This is (Y/N)… “

“Isn’t she the crow eater from South Dakota?” One of the older men asked, Bobby. _Not a crow eater._

“Not a crow eater so you better keep your hands to yourselves, you bunch of nasty old men” you heard Gemma said from distance and mentally thank her. You heard a muttered _“yes ma’am”_ from the biker

“… darling these are Juice, Chibbs, Tig, Bobby, Opie, Piney, Clay, Happy and Half-sack, the prospect” Jax turned to me for a second whispering “you don’t wanna know…” _Oh, okay…_

“Hello again, we didn’t have much chance to talk at Jax’s party” you waved and smile at them, hearing them asking why no one remembers the party.

“And what did you do on South Dakota, sweetheart?” the man named Clay asked, as you accepted a beer from Jax.

“Ahm… mostly helped my surrogate father on cars and scrap shop, then went on traveling… it’s really not an interesting story” you felt Jax’s smile as you gulped the beer down.

“You know your way around a car then? I saw you got a bike…” you agreed with Clay “Bobby worked on cars, he taught me since I went living with him at 13, I like to say I know my way around” Clay agreed, smiling.

“That’s good, we always need a good pair of hands on the garage if you looking for a job here, it’d make the place more beautiful I’m sick of looking at these ugly faces all day” Clay pointed at the other men and you laughed, feeling Jax arm around your shoulders pull you closer.

“I remember you said something about hunting, is it right?” Piney asked and you agreed with a smile, he looked like a grandpa and there was just something adorable about him.

“So you know your way around a gun, huh luv?” the one named Tig asked, smirking. You agreed again, finishing your beer.

“More or less, yeah” You felt Jax chuckle on your side “I’m more of a throwing knives type of lady, but yeah sure guns are okay.”

“We should try some target shooting later than, just for fun” Tig spoke again, under protests of Gemma, you shrugged agreeing.

“You can shoot all you want later now we eat” Gemma’s tone was serious and you could see everyone respected her. You got up to help her and the woman looked at you “Don’t let them scare you, they are just big babies” you agreed, helping her with the plates back in the kitchen “You know I think maybe Jax finally found a good girl” Gemma looked up and down at you “You’re no damsel in distress, I know, and if you’re sticking around the club you gotta be a little rough around the edges you know? Tara was too fragile, too full of morals; Wendy… well; but you, you got something… maybe the hunter life.” her speech was resumed with a proud look at you. “Maybe third is a charm?” _yeah… maybe._

Everyone ate and laughed like a big family, sometimes you’d take Abel so Gemma or Jax could enjoy the party a little more, once in a while you’d catch a glimpse of Jax’s eyes on you with his son. He looked happy. For you it was a foreign feeling, _a family, belonging._ You walked into the house to get a couple of more beers for everybody when Jax followed, pulling you closer to him and leaning against the kitchen isle, you melted under his calm kiss, his lips caressing yours and his presence enveloping in warmth.

“How do you like everybody?” Jax kissed your face in between words, making you laugh a little on your chest.

“They are fun, it’s just a weird feeling… belonging somewhere. I’m used to be on the run, ALONE… They are all so… them” you made a funny face and Jax laughed, agreeing, you kissed Jax again.

“Yeah you better get used to it, Tig is asking to get you for the target shooting” you agreed, handing him the beers “Go easy on him, darling” his voice was holding a laugh, you just looked back at him over your shoulder before walking out again. _“Tig is fucked…_ ” you heard him whispering to himself, opening the beer.

“Let’s see what you’re made of, sweetheart” Tig had a target pinned on the fence, holding two guns.

“Tig there is a baby inside the house I’m not shooting a gun here…” you laughed at the drunk biker, getting the guns from his hands and handing them to Opie.

“C’mon, aren’t you a hunter?” Tig's voice was louder, your back was turned to him and you saw Jax’s face with his smooth smirk.

“Oh, Tig…” Jax sits down on the table again, shaking his head as you walked inside the house for a second, walking out again with a small bag _“She’s gonna eat you alive”_ Jax warned as you opened the leather pouch, examining your knives.

“Watch it” you winked at Tig before throwing the knives, one after another, all hitting bullseye. Tig wanted to say something put you threw the last one in his direction, hitting the wooden wall behind him just by his ear. Tig let his cigarette fall from his lips screaming.

“Told ya” Jax warned him, handing you the beer he was holding “My girl here is real old lady material” you could sense how proud he was of you, pulling you to his lap and kissing your face

“Your old lady?” _really Teller?_

“Yeah maybe someday…” he whispered in your ear, kissing it before looking you in the eyes again, your stomach turned thinking about how you’d have to come clean about your wedding with Dean.

“She is a crazy woman! Crazy woman!!!” Tig sits close to Jax, shocked “Where in the hell did you learn that?”

“In Hell, for real,” you said as it was the most natural response ever “I was turned into a Knight of Hell after I fell with Lucifer, was one of the top torturers in there” Tig's mouth was open and Jax because really serious, eyes widened.

“Yeah right, and I am an angel of the Lord” _actually…_ you rolled your eyes hugging Jax again as Tig started to talk about a movie set called Caracara with the boys.

Early night, everyone started to leave and you went to help put Abel in bed, so Gemma could say her goodbyes to Jax. The baby had recently fallen asleep when Jax walked into the room, you shushed him and pointed out of the bedroom, you both walked to Jax’s bedroom next door.

“You’re really good with him” he smiled, making you blush “I meant what I said, about giving this a real try”

“Can we just go slow? Leave the fast for the bikes? It’s… a lot” the man agreed, caressing your hair and kissing your forehead.

“Will you at least accept my offer and stay here?” Jax put a string of hair behind your ear as you agreed, kissing him.

“I am your nurse now, Jackson. And I think it’s time for a sponge bath…” Jax smirked at your innocent tone, fluttering your lashes at him.

Being slow and calm with Jax was new for you, but he was still bruised and you didn't want to hurt him. Clothes on the floor, the shower was warm against your skin, making your muscles relax. Jax started to kiss your neck, closing his eyes in pleasure when you started to wash his hair, carefully. You could hear little moans dying on the back of his throat as you pulled some locks between your fingers, smiling. 

The biker pinned you against the cold tile wall attacking your lips with his, soap in your body making his hands travel up and down your body with ease, the temperature of his body contrasting with the wall on your back, you could feel his erection on your lower abdomen as hands gripped firmly in your thighs, pulling you up. Your hands gripped on his broad shoulders, not breaking the kiss but going deeper into it, swallowing a moan.

Then you heard it: Abel crying. 

Jax stopped, swearing under his breath and letting his head fall in the crook of your neck, laughing.

"This is not over..." Jax gave you a kick kiss putting you down again "I'll see you on that bed" he had a commanding tone, getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. 

"I'll wear something pretty" you playfully answer as the man walked out of the bathroom, but still close enough you could hear his reply

" **Wear nothing** " and you could help but smile _. Yeah, you could get used to this..._

__

__


	13. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When things go sidewsys with the club, you call the ones you know best for help.

Living with Jax went from a few days to a month to almost a year now, you became friends with everyone at SAMCRO. Sunday dinner, birthday parties, shopping with Gemma, your life was totally coordinated with the club, most people who met you now even thought Abel was your son. Jax had learned the basic about hunting from you, in case he ever needed, but nothing really had happened, a few omens and passing hunters that knew you were settled in California,

Sam sometimes would call you or text you, check on you or talk about some crazy case they’ve been into, Dean on the other hand haven’t spoke a word to you since the day in the hospital. It hurt you, _you missed them._

“Morning, darling” Jax kissed your lips as he walked into the kitchen, you were feeding Abel his baby food and Jax sit by your side, getting himself a cup of coffee and a cigarette.

“Did you sleep well, baby?” Abel finished eating and you gave him some toys, turning to his father next, he agreed, smiling.”You guys have a run today, right?”

“Yeah, it shouldn’t take long though, it’s Clay’s shit” you knew Jax had problems with his stepfather, but you also knew the club was more important to him than any beef.

“You’re taking all stuff?” Jax agreed again, pulling you to his lap and kissing you again “flask with holy water, demon knife, silver bullets?” the biker laugh, squeezing you into his arms

“It’s a run, darling, not a hunt” you agreed, kissing him again, this time your tongue found its way into his soft mouth, tasting like cigarettes. Jax grip on you grew stronger, running his hand to your ass.

“Teller, stop or you’ll be late” you laughed under your kiss, feeling Jax’s hands on your thighs, he was not stopping “Jax…” you smirked again, and the man finally broke contact, taking a deep breath before laughing, you got up again feeling Jax’s eyes on you. You were wearing only one of his SAMCRO t-shirts.

“What are your plans?” Jax was taking his guns and vest now, finishing his coffee

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll take Abel to your mom and we get him to the park, something like that…” Jax went to kiss his son on the forehead, saying goodbye.

“Take care of her for me, buddy” he whispered to the baby, making you swoon. “See you tonight, love” your stomach turned at the word, you and Jax hadn’t said the three words yet, still it was pretty obvious to everyone you two were in love. Madly.

“Take care” you walked Jax to the door kissing him one last time “and Jax...I love you” you whispered the last part, making the biker smile in awe, before pulling you to him again, sweeping out of your feet

“I love you too, darling” he whispered in your ear before putting you down, one last kiss leaving you breathless.

As Abel's babysitter came in you decided to go to the garage for a bit - the sitter was a woman named Neeta that Gemma had hired to help you.

"Gemma?" you knocked on the door lightly, receiving a smile from the woman.

"Hello sweetheart, something wrong with your bike?" you let yourself in and sit in front of her, denying.

"Just came by to check on you, Jax told me they had a run with Clay today" she agreed, putting some papers aside.

"Did Jax also told you he and Clay threw fists at each other last night?" you shrugged. He didn't have to, you saw the black eye.

"What's wrong with them, Gemma?" the woman finally left the papers aside, getting a cigarette and offering you one, you accepted. You were always nervous on run days.

"Boys will be boys, no matter what age they are..." you agreed.

"I don't know, I got a bad feeling about this ride" Gemma looked you up and down with a smirk on her face

"Is there anything you want to share with me, dear?" _me? why? "_ are you pregnant?" _am i ...whAT?_ you started to cough

"Jesus, Gemma, no!!" you sit down again catching your breath "i am not pregnant, don't worry..."

"That's a shame... Abel would love a little sibling" t _oo soon Gemma, too soon._

"And would you approve that?" your question was genuine, Gemma was a puzzle for you. Sometimes as sweet as a mother, others it looked like she could rip off your guts.

"You are family, (Y/N). You are Jax's old lady, you may not want to assume it, but that's what you are... " Gemma could see the red crippling up on your face, making her smile.

"I guess I'm just not used to it yet" she agreed.

"You better, dear. There are a ton of girls out there who would kill to be in your place, own it" her eyes were serious, but you could sense she cared.

You spent the rest of the day with Gemma, helping around the garage. When she closed the shop, you both went to your place so she could spend some time with her grandson. Gemma's phone rang and you could see in her eyes something was wrong.

"...Okay, thank you Wayne" she sit on the couch looking straight at the wall ahead.

"What happened?" you ran by her side seeing the woman became pale.

"Someone rat on them, the boys are in custody" what?? you felt your heart race on your chest, you knew this was bad.

"Feds?" Gemma agreed, still not looking at you "fuck!"

"I gotta go home, I gotta..." Gemma was visibly affected and you held her down "They are in danger on jail you know that..." you did.

"I think I know who could help us" Gemma's empty eyes found yours "I'm not sure but..."

"Do it" you agreed, getting your phone and dialing the number you knew by heart. Voice mail.

"Sam... hi, listen, I need some help with Feds... Just... call me, please? I could use the smartest guy I know..." you waited for a second, trying to think "please, call me" and clicked on the red button, they'd call you back.

"How can they help?" Gemma had her strong face on, trying not to be affected.

"We had our share of shit with Feds..." your mind was racing "do you know where they are?" Gemma agreed "I'll go get changed, take me there" if the woman was about to say something, you couldn't listen.

An hour later, Gemma was driving you to the correctional facility, you had your old FBI disguise on, a tight skirt and a blazer, red high pumps matching with your red lipstick and soft eyes.

"What's your plan?" Gemma finally asked when you reached your destination, looking for the fake ID on your purse.

"Agent Nicks" you showed her your badge "I'll talk to Jax, try to figure out what happened"

"Nicks? As in Stevie Nicks??" Gemma seemed not believe the absurd but you shrugged. "What if they want to talk to your superior?" _that..._

"Don't worry I've done this a thousand times" you tranquilized the matriarch and jump out of the vehicle, fixing your skirt.

As you walked into the room, a lot of male eyes went to you - as you expected. Wearing a confident smile, you approached the reception area.

"Agent Nicks, counter terrorism. I'm here to interrogate the suspects of illegal gun trafficking" your tone was serious and professional, the old guard gasped

"We...no one told us, the Feds were here..." you leaned down, reading the name tag

"Raymond, hi... listen, I've had a very long day at office and my boss is kind of all over me on this case, can't you please, please, PLEASE help me here? just a couple of minutes... you can call my boss!!" you extended him a card with a phone number and leaned more, occasionally showing more cleavage.

"I'll see what I can do..." the man whined under his breath, taking the card from your hand and dialing the number. You prayed to all the gods and monsters that they'd pick up. The man talked a few moments on the phone behind the glass and came back, signaling for you to follow him.

"Thanks!" you smiled, as you reached the interrogation room door

"No problem Agent, Agent Willis told us about the major importance of this operation" Thanks, guys... "Who do you need?"

"Teller. Thank you again officer" and you entered the room, finally breathing.

A few minutes later an officer brought Jax to the room and let you two. You knew you couldn't hug or kiss him, they could see you through the fake mirror. Gladly, you noticed there were no cameras so they could not hear you.

"Hi!!" your back was turned to the mirror so you could smile at Jax, who looked you up and down

"They told me a fed was here for me..." Jax sit down in front of you, keeping his head down so he could smile too, his cuffed hands found yours.

"Are you alright? What happened?" Jax agreed, telling you how the whole run was a set up by the Mayans and they and SAMCRO were officially at war again "I need to take you out of here" you could see in Jax's eyes he wanted to kiss you, calm you down.

"Don't do anything stupid for me darling, just watch the kid. I'll be alright" _have you met me Teller? Stupid is my middle name..._ "What have you done (Y/N)?" you widened your eyes, denying, but Jax didn't fell for it.

"Just trust me on this Jackie, I still have some contacts" Jax agreed

"The whole club?" now it was you agreeing

"Ride or die" the biker squeezed your hand

"That's my girl. Tell my mother we are fine, she gets a little crazy" your time was up and the guard was near the door, you pretended to be rough with him, but saw Jax smirk checking at your ass on that skirt before leaving. _Silly boy_.

As you got out of the building, you explained it all to Gemma. They were fine, or the best they could be on the situation and hoped your crazy plan worked. You two drove back and she accepted the offer to stay over with you at the house, at least staying near Abel helped her.

"Hmm" your mumble was not something anyone could comprehend when you picked up the phone, still sleeping.

"What the hell did you get yourself into?" Dean. You jumped on the bed recognizing his voice.

"Hi Dean, what time is it?" you rub your eyes, falling on the empty bed again.

"I get a call from Bobby telling me you are somehow in trouble with Feds???" Dean's voice was extremely irritated, angry "what the fuck happened?"

"it's a long story, Dean... where are you guys?" you sit up on the bed again, it was a bad idea but you needed all the help you could get.

"Washington, vamp nest...we're driving south in the morning" what?

"Dean you don't need to..." Dean here in the middle of all this mess would only complicate things

"We are going" and you heard the click. _Fuck._

The day was tense, Gemma went to the garage, taking Abel and you decided to stay at home, going through your contacts that could possibly help, you didn't notice when it got dark - smoking too many cigarettes to care.

A knock repeatedly on the door made you jump, taking your 9mm and going for it.

"JESUS (Y/N) IT'S ME, IT'S ME CALM DOWN" Dean screamed, immobilizing you as you pointed your gun to them. You were so stressed and tired it all was like a movie in your head, the hunter handed the gun to his brother before turning to you again "what was that?"

"Sorry, reflexes..." you shake your head looking at them "I guess I'm just stressed, I didn't sleep..." Sam looked at you with his soft brown eyes before enveloping your body in a bear hug.

"it's okay, we are here now, you are not alone" his soft voice made your tense shoulders relax a bit and you invited them in. "What happened?"

"SAMCRO, Jax and the boys were ratted by a rival club, they were delivering some guns, AKs... Feds got them" Dean looked angry and shocked at you

"Gun smuggling? that's what you've been doing? So much for quitting hunting to have a life... For God's Sake (Y/N), what you got yourself into?" Dean run his fingers through his hair, not believing what he had just listened

"Like what we did was so legal..." you tried to speak but Dean cut you

"We help people, you saved people!!! Now you do what? Help get them killed?" that was it, you got up and walk away from the living room Dean coming after you and pulling you by the elbow for a moment, before you punch him on the face.

"I'm sorry I made you drive all the way here, but I'm sure the Pacific Coast Highway is pretty anyway. It's good to see you Sam, I missed you, now if you excuse me i have to go..." you got your keys and opened up the door, pointing out to them, Dean looked at you.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't... we are here to help, let us help" your eyes were still fixed on them, like steel, you took a deep breath before closing the door again.

“If you are going to help, there will be no judgment, no questions asked…trust me it’s better for all of us” you went to the kitchen counter, getting a beer from the fridge to each one of them.

“So, your new boyfriend deals guns?” Dean finally spoke after a few moments in silence, you could see Sam poking his ribs

“What did I say about no questions?” you heard Dean gruff and the door opening after a moment. “It’s okay Gemma, they are here to help the club” you assured the woman after seeing her holding Abel tight against her chest.

“The Hunters?” Gemma now walked closer, sitting by your side, you took Abel and smiled to him. ‘ _hi love, momma missed you’_

“Momma?” Sam’s eyes were shining now, looking at you, but you denied.

“He’s Jax’s son, but I mean I am helping to raise him” you kissed the boy’s chubby cheeks again.

“Oh please, you’re more a mother to him than that crank whore could ever be, darling” Gemma got up again, lighting up a cigarette away from the baby.

“I never introduced you, Gemma, these are Dean and Sam Winchester, we grew up together after my parents died. Boys, this is Gemma Teller-Morrow. Queen of Charming. God help me to be just as fierce as her someday.” you winked at her who just laughed

“So… you said the club was set up so feds would get them” Sam spoke up, you agreed “who would do that and why?” you shook your head, trying to think

“Mayans for the gun business and drugs, Aryans, that bullshit white power… “ you shrugged.

“The Irish called, asked if we wanted to get the cargo tonight, they got out safe and in time” Gemma came back from the baby room

“I’m going…” Gemma let out a _“Jesus”_ and Dean just growled, “Who do we still got in the club?”

“Piney, Happy, Chibs and the prospect…” _fuck,_ you agreed trying to think.

“I’ll go, ask Chibs and Sack to meet me at the club, please Gemma.” you got up from the couch, getting your gun again. Dean got up with you

“We’re going with you” the hunter’s voice was unapologetic, making you stop.

“Guys this is club business I’m not sure…” you started only to be stopped by Dean again.

“We are going” you agreed, not much time to think, coming back from your room with a wooden box.

“Gemma, stay here, watch Abel. Sam, protect them” the younger hunter agreed as you handled them guns and ammo

“Look who’s the old lady now” Gemma smiled at you, kissing your face “I love you, darling. Please take care, I got a son and a husband locked, I don’t want my daughter taken away from me” you kissed her face too, agreeing.

“I’ll be back, for the club, for the boys.” the woman let you go, as you signaled to Dean you were ready.


	14. Another Day, Another Teller (or how Nachos make the world go 'round)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many Tellers tell a tale?

“How long do we have to wait here?" Dean took a bite of his bacon cheeseburger and nachos with extra cheese from the store you passed by.

"I don't know Dean, the British are the ones always on time, and can you PLEASE eat this shit out of the car, it's making me sick" you were tense, sitting behind the wheel of the black van, Chibs couldn’t come so it was you, Dean and Half-Sack.

"What? you used to like burger and nachos" Dean was talking with his mouth full, the sight made you run out of the van to breathe.

“Are you alright there?” Half-Sack asked from his bike, but you just gave him thumbs up, almost green on the face.

  
  


  
  


With the cargo delivered, not without a little argument between you and the Irish who didn't understand why a stranger, a prospect, and an old lady were receiving the AK’s, you headed back to the clubhouse.

“I knew you wanted those nachos!” Dean played with you once you stopped for a second at the store on the gas station.

“Just watch the car I’ll be right back” and ran into the store, nodding to the prospect to watch everything for a second.

“What did you get there?” Dean asked again, seeing you got a brown paper bag and threw it on your bag, starting the car again.

“Tampons, Dean, you need one?” you rolled your eyes at his shocked reaction, Dean always being Dean. _” Fuck”_ you were almost out of the gas station when you heard bikes approaching, full speed “Take the wheel, and it doesn’t matter what happens do not stop!” you passed over the man, getting the gun on the glove compartment.

“Why...wha?” fires being shot at your direction “Fuck!”

“DO YOU MIND? WE ARE IN A HURRY” Dean step up on the gas as you saw Half-Sack shoot some of the Mayans attacking the van along with you, hitting the bikes and even some of the men. As the van took up some speed, you sat back on the passenger's seat, breathing heavy and laughing “Fucking bastard… you alright?” Dean seemed shocked, to say the least.

“What was that?” the hunter didn’t stop the driving, you signaled Half-Sack you were both okay and he kept on riding on the back of the van.

“Mayans MC, probably trying to get the guns. I shouldn’t have made the stop it was stupid” you cursed under your breath “They control drugs in Northern California, there’s a huge war between Mayans and SAMCRO since forever…” Dean looked at you, still shock in his eyes

“Who are you?” you just laughed, _that was life in Charming..._

  
  


  
  


“Half-Sack, Chibs, get the boys and take these to the storage, okay? I’ll let Gemma know we made it alright” the blonde young biker smiled at you at a funny reverence. _He was a good weird friend._ You headed straight to the apartment upstairs.

  
  


_______________________________

  
  


  
  


"I saw you kill innocent people today" Dean sit on your side on the roof of the clubhouse “I’m pretty sure you killed at least one of them...”

"Believe me De, they were nothing but innocent" you smiled as the hunter offered you a beer, you denied, taking him by surprise "I'm laying low on the alcohol"

“Since when?” he laughed at the absurd, you shrugged looking at nothing

“Today…”

The silence between you two lingered enough you could hear cars on the main street and Chibs singing downstairs. Dean looked at the now empty bottle in his hand.

"How did you become this - " he started but you cut his thought.

"I'm pregnant" Dean stopped, turning at you open-mouthed "I'm gonna have a child Dean, I'm terrified"

"Does he know?" you denied on a head shake "God, babygirl come here" as much as you were frozen with fear of saying those words for the very first time, you accepted Dean's hug and forehead kiss, tears streaming down your face.

"I'm gonna have a baby, me, a baby.... after all, shit" your smile was as big as your face and you were shaking "I never thought I could... after what happened..." Dean had tears in his eyes too.

On that car crash years ago, when John made the pact and Dean was dead, you were pregnant and lost the baby in the accident. Dean still blamed himself, carried that burden. You became terrified of the idea of being pregnant again and having another miscarriage, it tore your heart apart.

"Now, wait, you gotta eat some proper food... and, and we need vitamins, and no coffee or those awful cancer sticks, did you go to the doctor???" you started to laugh at Dean, making the hunter stop.

"Dean, I found out about it an hour ago, relax. That’s what I got on the store… those pee sticks, got 3, all positive. I didn’t really think about it until I got really sick from the smell of your cheese nachos and it all clicked, also what Gemma said yesterday… " the hunter took a breath, hugging you again "Thanks, De." you could swear he mouthed an _I love you_ under his breath.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Dean now looked into your eyes “For you and this kid? Gang wars? Gun smuggling? Is this what you want for your life, the messed up hell, (Y/N)?” you narrowed your eyes to Dean, trying to understand his point. “We can go, me and you, we can go somewhere and you could have this baby right” _what?_ You pushed him away

“Dean, Jax is the father… this baby is a part of SAMCRO, it’s a Teller. This messed up hell is its legacy...and what, what if I went with you? What life would the baby have? The one of a hunter? A dead mother? Raised by Bobby?” you spit out the words, angry at the preposition, _how could Dean even think you would do that?_

“This should be our child!” his voice was slightly raised now, you didn’t move.

“Our child was never born Dean, let it go, let me go… Stop doing this to yourself” you gently cupped his face with your hand, cleaning his tears, the hunter closed his eyes “I will always love you Dean, but you gotta let this go…” his hand now held yours, you could see his pain, and it hurt in you, but you could not lie to Dean.

“Do you love him? Are you happy here?” more tears rolled down your cheeks, taking a breath.

“I do. I love him, I am happy here, the club is my family, his son is my son too, now this baby…” you tried your best to swallow your smile, the pain in Dean’s eyes was too much.

“I was your family once” he whispered, and you denied

“No, Dean. Your family is Sam, it’s always been.” you let go of him now, going for the stairs “I gotta go, I know Gemma she might be worried” the hunter didn’t respond, and you left him there.

  
  


____________________________

“Thank God, you’re alright” Gemma held you as you walked into the door “What took you so long? I was dying here!!” the woman hit your arm lightly, you looked at Sam softly smiling at you and mouthed a silent _‘hi’_

“We were attacked by Mayans on our way back” she started to interrupt you, but you calmed her down “It’s okay we lost them, it’s good, the cargo is at the club, I’m fine…”

“What were you thinking going to collect like this? We don’t do that, we are the rock of this club, they do the crazy shit, we are the sane ones…Don’t go around doing crazy shit again it must’ve aged me 10 years…” she hugged you again, making you chuckle. Gemma was worried, stressed, she needed to hang on to the least normality you had at the moment.

A child, you laid in bed for hours, tossing and turning about how to bring this information to Gemma, to Jax, or anyone on the club right now. This was the worst possible time, you didn’t even know if Jax wanted to have a child with you, he had Abel… Can you be a mother? You? Before you knew you were on the way to the bathroom to throw up out of nervousness. Were you making the right decision?

It took you hours until you could fall asleep, holding Jax’s T-shirt closer to your body.

The Sun was barely up in the sky when a body next to yours barely woke you up, the beard on the crook of your neck and long hair… you were definitely dreaming.

“Jax?” _Jax couldn’t be here, Jax was in jail._

“I missed you, darling” his soft kisses along with your shoulder blades, his beard scratching your skin. The smell was not the musky one from the products Jax always uses, but it was his smell, his calloused hands going for the skin under the t-shirt you were wearing.

You were still in the semi-dream state, tired and not really awake, the scent and kisses bringing you enough comfort and peace to make you relax into your lover’s arms. Right now, you didn’t care if it was a dream or not, Jax was here. Leaning your head backward, his lips found yours on a hungry kiss, like velvet to your lips, his hands now went for your boobs and nipples, massaging them as you moan into his mouth. As your hips bucked back, you could feel his body need for you and his growl on your ear, hands going to your underwear.

The dreamy haze was a mix of pleasure and bodies connected on a synchronized rhythm, the warm sun on your skin through the windows and the lips on your neck, the strong grip on your hips and bites on your shoulder. Once the peak of both your pleasures passed you started to move again, feeling there was _ACTUALLY_ a body next to yours. _You were not dreaming._

“JAX?” you sit on the bed, eyes wide to the blonde man beside you with a lazy smile on his face

“Yeah…” he opened one eye, pulling you to his chest, but you stay put.

“You are here!” he chuckled, opened both his eyes now

“What just happened was not a homecoming gift?” _how…_ “Your friends busted us out this morning, I don’t know how, but we walked…” _the boys…_ Jax sit on the bed now, holding your hand “Thanks, darling” he kissed you again, and right now all reality hit you.

“Jax…” the fear in your face was noticeable, his eyes reflected it.

“What's wrong?” you felt like you were gonna be sick again, but took deep breaths, his thumb drawing circles in your wrists.

**“Jax… I’m pregnant”**

  



End file.
